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Thread: Withdrawal after 17 years on antidepressants

  1. #51
    Founder Sheila's Avatar
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    That’s great about your memories coming back via your dreams. That is an important point – that we can recover memories that way, too.

    I recover new memories at any time, but especially when falling asleep, and when doing my w/d-induced OCD’ing – checking locks and such. I am really curious about why I will suddenly get a stunningly vivid memory, apparently out of the blue, from the distant past, sometimes a very mundane moment from the past, while looking at a lock or a stove knob!
    Meds free since June 2005.

    "An initiation into shamanic healing means a devaluation of all values, an overturning of the profane world, a peeling away of inveterate handed-down notions of the world, liberation from everything preconceived. For that reason, shamanism is closely connected with suffering. One must suffer the disintegration of one's own system of thought in order to perceive a new world in the higher space."
    -- Holger Kalweit

  2. #52
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    Quote Originally Posted by Sheila View Post
    I am really curious about why I will suddenly get a stunningly vivid memory, apparently out of the blue, from the distant past, sometimes a very mundane moment from the past, while looking at a lock or a stove knob!
    i know, it is like what happens when we spend hours thinking about a solution for a problem until we gave up... and totally forget about it, then suddenly the solution comes to us while we are doing the dishes :)
    have been on antidepressants for more than 17 years.
    Was on zoloft/sertraline 100mg for the last 2-3 years.
    Tapered over 2.5 months, ending october 24 2012.
    reinstating AD:
    march 28: started on 25mg sertraline, took it for 2 days
    april 1: 12.5mg - only for one day
    april 9: started on 2.5mg sertraline
    april 17: increased to 5 mg

  3. #53
    Founder Sheila's Avatar
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    Ha ha! Darn, you have to *let go* in order to *make* things happen. I hate that!
    Meds free since June 2005.

    "An initiation into shamanic healing means a devaluation of all values, an overturning of the profane world, a peeling away of inveterate handed-down notions of the world, liberation from everything preconceived. For that reason, shamanism is closely connected with suffering. One must suffer the disintegration of one's own system of thought in order to perceive a new world in the higher space."
    -- Holger Kalweit

  4. #54
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    Yes, sometimes we need to keep trying and sometimes we need to let go... And letting go is harder :)

  5. #55
    Founder Sheila's Avatar
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    I was just saying that on Joy’s journal thread too. I’m really working on this this week. I’m getting the message from various places, including here, that I need to slow down, trust, not pressure myself so much. I’m currently feeling driven about an essay I’m working on. I feel like I’m definitely “supposed” to be working on it, but if I could slow down a little, I would, paradoxically, probably get more help from the universe for it.

    I think part of what makes it hard for me to grasp this is that this was not true in my family growing up. It seems like the same is true for many of us here. It’s hard to unlearn the expectations which you very reasonably built up based on your early experiences. And it’s amazingly hard to see in new ways, to even *see* the people and things out there that are just waiting to help you.
    Meds free since June 2005.

    "An initiation into shamanic healing means a devaluation of all values, an overturning of the profane world, a peeling away of inveterate handed-down notions of the world, liberation from everything preconceived. For that reason, shamanism is closely connected with suffering. One must suffer the disintegration of one's own system of thought in order to perceive a new world in the higher space."
    -- Holger Kalweit

  6. #56
    Senior Member biscotaki's Avatar
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    Thinking of you Amani ..:)
    xx biscotaki

  7. #57
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    Quote Originally Posted by Sheila View Post
    I was just saying that on Joy痴 journal thread too. I知 really working on this this week. I知 getting the message from various places, including here, that I need to slow down, trust, not pressure myself so much. I知 currently feeling driven about an essay I知 working on. I feel like I知 definitely 都upposed to be working on it, but if I could slow down a little, I would, paradoxically, probably get more help from the universe for it.
    really? this is so interesting......and since you interpreted it that way (that the universe is saying you need to slow down), that means that your mind/body is sending you messages too ; you must already know somewhere in your mind that you need to slow down...at least, take a break from it to let your unconscious mind take over...

    do you still feel, after all these years, that your body is still sensitive to stress, i mean, do you "crash" after stress? i hope not...

    Quote Originally Posted by Sheila View Post
    I think part of what makes it hard for me to grasp this is that this was not true in my family growing up. It seems like the same is true for many of us here. It痴 hard to unlearn the expectations which you very reasonably built up based on your early experiences. And it痴 amazingly hard to see in new ways, to even *see* the people and things out there that are just waiting to help you
    this is so true... but again, life is hard, it was hard when we were growing up and is till today.. that makes it harder for us to put down our shields...
    have been on antidepressants for more than 17 years.
    Was on zoloft/sertraline 100mg for the last 2-3 years.
    Tapered over 2.5 months, ending october 24 2012.
    reinstating AD:
    march 28: started on 25mg sertraline, took it for 2 days
    april 1: 12.5mg - only for one day
    april 9: started on 2.5mg sertraline
    april 17: increased to 5 mg

  8. #58
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    Quote Originally Posted by biscotaki View Post

    Thinking of you Amani ..:)
    xx biscotaki
    nice avatar :) this is new, isnt it... you must be having a good day :)... i really hope that is the case :)
    have been on antidepressants for more than 17 years.
    Was on zoloft/sertraline 100mg for the last 2-3 years.
    Tapered over 2.5 months, ending october 24 2012.
    reinstating AD:
    march 28: started on 25mg sertraline, took it for 2 days
    april 1: 12.5mg - only for one day
    april 9: started on 2.5mg sertraline
    april 17: increased to 5 mg

  9. #59
    Founder Sheila's Avatar
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    My ability to tolerate stress has slowly improved over the years of my recovery. I feel that I have improved quite a bit in the last five months due to mega-dose Omega-3.
    Meds free since June 2005.

    "An initiation into shamanic healing means a devaluation of all values, an overturning of the profane world, a peeling away of inveterate handed-down notions of the world, liberation from everything preconceived. For that reason, shamanism is closely connected with suffering. One must suffer the disintegration of one's own system of thought in order to perceive a new world in the higher space."
    -- Holger Kalweit

  10. #60
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    that is great... i hope you continue to improve and feel progress all the time
    have been on antidepressants for more than 17 years.
    Was on zoloft/sertraline 100mg for the last 2-3 years.
    Tapered over 2.5 months, ending october 24 2012.
    reinstating AD:
    march 28: started on 25mg sertraline, took it for 2 days
    april 1: 12.5mg - only for one day
    april 9: started on 2.5mg sertraline
    april 17: increased to 5 mg

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