Withdrawal after 17 years on antidepressants

[amani]

the kiwi in Paris have periods, and some are so hard and green, so i rarely eat(in summer maybe they are more ripe), actually i do not remember seeing;
even orange i have to choose, there are better and other not ripe etc; but i never am definitive, one day i awake and will no more buy orange, they will disgust me and i will try another thing such as lemon or kiwi; it is the same for meat, fish, vegetables, i am an extreme person, i cannot fight this, it is me; and the withdrawal has not arranged this,

I see... so it seems that you try to get all your Vitamin C from food.. I should do that to instead of the supplement i am currently taking.. i take the chewable ones (that is the only one i could find)... I should make a bigger effort to get is from food instead..

[amani]

hello, i have not written an update in a while, i was waiting to make sure that i am actually better :)

it has been a week now that i did not have a bad day... most of my symptoms are gone and the rest is mild and tolerable... i am still really exhausted and my brain/concentration/memory very very bad but i expect that these will take a while to get better after my body has been through...
other than that, i still have 2 WD symptoms, but milder than they were before this past week:

- anxiety: it is very mild, mostly in the morning... and every once in a while throughout the day, i feel a mild tightness in my chest/heart, heat in chest/stomach..etc, but again it is mild and i can distract myself from it...

- sleep: it is not back to normal yet but i do sleep every night for most of the night... i still wake up every hour to go to the bathroom (i had this urinary frequency before stopping ADs.. but i used to wake up 4 sometimes 5 times a night).. now i wake up at least every hour, but that is ok for now......

I am still taking my 5mg sertraline... have not started tapering down again.. i am going to wait a while, hopefully my sleep would improve so i would get more energy and my brain fog would improve too....also, i need to take care of some stuff before i get sick again with withdrawal symptoms... I heard that the last few milligrams are the hardest to taper so i am not looking forward to that....

i wish i can send you all some of this "feeling-good" feeling... i wish you all (and myself :)) continuing healing and strength :)

[Sheila]

Ooooh, that's great news, amani! I'm so glad. You are definitely seeing healing!

[PAROX2010]

Hi Amani,
Glad you feel better!. I love when I see that people feel improvement
Go very slowly. You're right when you say that the last milligrams are the worst to get off. For me it was more difficult.
I had mild symptoms after leaving my last dose, similar to those I had while I was falling. You know that each person is different ...
The brain fog was and is still my biggest problem, to the point that today I was considering changing jobs, I need my brain to work!. Well, a matter of give it time ...

Take care and big hug,

[amani]

Thank you Sheila and parox...

Parox: yes, the brain fog really annoys me - i mean, i had it even before stopping ADs (comes with CFS) but it is much worse now... but like you said, we need time...
so you had only mild symptoms after your last pill? this is encouraging... do you have a thread here that describes your journey (you have started many threads, but i could not find one describing your journey)..

Thanks again Sheila and parox for your support... i wish you both continuous progress in your journeys...

[PAROX2010]

amani
Do you have fibromyalgia and multiple chemical hypersensitivity syndrome?.
I have read that usually have connection.

Hugs

[amani]

no parox, I don't have those... but yes, you are right, they always talk about these 2 whenever they talk about CFS...

[Luc]

yes, the brain fog really annoys me - i mean, i had it even before stopping ADs (comes with CFS) but it is much worse now... but like you said, we need time.

Though it's not any fixed rule, brain fog is one of those symptoms that may take some more time to get solved (comparing to other symptoms), but it will be getting better, Amani. And yes, it's a very alien feeling - so often compared to looking at the world from behind a thick pane of glass...

[stan]

Amani, my brain fog is much better some days and less strong, i have periods i forget it, but it has needed such as 4 years off

[amani]

i hope it does not take years or at least that it gets better enough so i could go back to work... a big part of the reason i stopped taking ADs is because i thought that they were making my energy and concentration/memory/cognitive functions worse (i have not been working in the last 3 years)... my memory is so bad i don't remember even the last few months, like i can't remember when and how i learned about withdrawal, that my symptoms are caused by withdrawal, i can't remember why i have not done anything in terms of reinstating or even seeing a doctor for the first few months after stopping ADs even though i was struggling... now that the "numbing effect" of AD is gone, i find it hard to deal with living my life like this... the only way i can describe it is as if i was monitor screen that is not connected to a real computer; things come and go on the screen but nothing is saved to the hard drive!! no continuity... but you are right, i just have to accept that everything needs time.... i have to learn to be patient... i am still not good at that...
thank you everyone for your support...