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Thread: RubyTuesday Introduction

  1. #1
    Member RubyTuesday's Avatar
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    Smile RubyTuesday Introduction

    Hi Everyone,
    I am totally thrilled to find this forum. This is the best one I have found. I actually went online a
    couple of weeks ago and googled "Antidepressants Anonymous" because I had decided it was time,
    but I have some issues with internet searching, and it took me till last night to find this one.

    I LOVE THE I CHING HEXAGRAM!!! THAT SAYS IT ALL.
    And, I have always been in the vanguard, most of my life (sob sob)

    Here is my thumbnail sketch of my saga with psychomeds:
    May 8, 2013
    June 1996 Paxil 1 day. Extreme agitation. Feb 02 Prozac + BC pill. till Fall 2010 + increasing alcohol/weed. Told OK to raise or lower depending on menstrual cycle. June 2009 stop BC pill, escalate
    weed due to painful menstruation. start menopause. Winter 10-11 stop alcohol/sugar/gluten. Stop Prozac. March 2011 stop weed. April 2011 re-start Prozac. May 2011 stop Prozac try Celexa
    Lexipro stop all SSRI. (re)start Xanax/Ativan daily till September 2011 stop benzos. lose my mind. October 2011 start Lamictal. November 2011 Mom diagnosed terminal. December 2011 start
    Seroquel & Remiron. February 2012 stop Remiron start Wellbutrin stop WB back to R. April 2012 Mom dies. June 2012 have tapered Remiron from 45 down to 7.5 over several months. April 2013
    (concluding Remiron is making me more depressed, not less) Remiron down to 3.75. Planning to
    change frequency from 24 hours to 36 to 48 and so forth, playing it by ear. At lower doses I am extremely on edge. N.P. told me I have paradoxical reaction to meds; normally R is sedating at lower doses and activating at higher, me opposite. Holding Lamictal steady at 50m. + 12.5m; extra Seroquel prn. + 25m at night.
    Today I feel better than I have since I dropped from 7.5 to 3.75; so I might hold it steady for a bit while I catch up with my life...
    Blessings to everyone...
    RubyTuesday
    Last edited by RubyTuesday; 05-10-2013 at 01:57 AM. Reason: I'm obsessive with typos

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    Member RubyTuesday's Avatar
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    Intro, con.

    Reading your tapering instructions. Maybe not do every other day? Not crazy about making liquid out of pills, but I
    guess I'll have to. Seriously doubt my Nurse Practitioner will consent to prescribe liquids. Long story. Never been
    happy with these N.P.s us "low income" people get to see. But it makes sense. Here's why. April 1 I cut the 7.5 in half.6 days later I stopped it as per N.P. instructions. (was going to try Wellbutrin again but since changed my mind.) 4
    days later I had to look up withdrawal on the internet. don't remember exactly why. mood swings, shakes,headaches. went back to 3.75. Exactly 3 & 4 weeks after each of these 3 changes, I felt awful. Really awful. Mood swings,
    panic attacks, crying spells (reason I decided to quit Remiron) shakes, itchy skin, paralysis.
    Frankly I am really bummed that this is taking so long. I have applied for Disability. The last thing I want to do is to
    never work again. But I have quit grad school & jobs around this whole A/D withdrawal nightmare. But the good news is that I finally understand why the last 2 years have been so rough. I quit Prozac on my own. I tapered off, I think
    about 5 or 10 m per month. After educating myself, I now conclude that Prozac stopped working for me around midway. That is why I started drinking and taking benzos and smoking weed. The agitation effects kicked in. I took Prozac for nine years; 02 to 10.
    Anyway I am really grateful for this forum, the videos, the summaries. Knowledge is Power.
    that's all she wrote...
    Last edited by RubyTuesday; 05-10-2013 at 04:09 AM. Reason: my Dad was an English teacher

  3. #3
    Founder Luc's Avatar
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    Hello, RubyTuesday! Welcome to IAWP. Thank you for sharing your story.

    If I'm correct, you're considering taking the drugs every other day, or at least every 36 hours, yes? We always strongly advice to take them as regularly as possible - the thing is that, if you don't take them every day, you risk throwing your brain and the entire CNS into a state of chaos - your body will be getting two contradictive signals - whether to start healing from the drugs or get acclimated to them.

    Ok, so now you're on Lamictal, Remeron and Seroquel? You mention taking some benzos at some point - do you still take them?

    Do not rush with anything. Every time you feel that the drop was too big, stabilising it for some time is a very good idea.

    You will heal from it.
    Keep walking. Just keep walking.

  4. #4
    Member RubyTuesday's Avatar
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    I quit all the benzos September 2011. Also all weed & alcohol. December 2011.
    I am on Lamictal & Seroquel & Remiron.
    tapering the Remiron, not the others. need the others to calm down while tapering.
    I don't know how to reduce the dose any lower with my tablets, I already cut them in quarters. Any suggestions?
    I seriously doubt I can get liquid from my clinic. They have been only marginally helpful from the get-go.
    At this rate, I am going to have to go on disability to get off of A/D's. I find that tragic and senseless.

  5. #5
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    Hi Ruby! Welcome! W/d is a difficult time. I have found this site great for information and support. You mentioned on my thread you are having speech and cognitive problems too. It is distressing certainly. You have quite a history of medication changes. I didn't keep track of all the ones I tried..it is staggering how many..and you would think the medical community would think there needs to be a different approach when the one they keep trying aren't working..but they keep prescribing and trying..and yet even my doctor admitted they have no idea what will or wont work...THAT IS crazy!!
    I would recommend you to read the Omega 3 thread. It is a building block.
    Joy

  6. #6
    Founder Luc's Avatar
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    Keep walking. Just keep walking.

  7. #7
    Founder Luc's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by RubyTuesday View Post
    I don't know how to reduce the dose any lower with my tablets, I already cut them in quarters. Any suggestions?
    I seriously doubt I can get liquid from my clinic. They have been only marginally helpful from the get-go.
    You could try using the file to shave off the tablets, or use the water titration method. In the Tapering sub-forum there's some more info about it.
    Keep walking. Just keep walking.

  8. #8
    Founder Sheila's Avatar
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    Welcome, RubyTuesday! Ha ha! Antidepressants Anonymous! Great idea!

    I’m sorry about your loss of your mother.

    Ugh – you got sent on the meds merry-go-round. And that was a terrible amount of switching you were put through. It’s so great you have figured out this was causing you big problems.

    Yes, as soon as I saw alcohol and pot increasing, I thought you were self-medicating against the agitating side effects of the Rx meds.

    Definitely, you want to take your meds daily, as Luc says. Otherwise you throw your system into and out of w/d. Options – get a jeweler’s scale and weigh crumbs of pills and go down by 10%. Do ask for liquid and talk to everyone you know about how to get it. Look into agencies that help people pay for meds.

    Unfortunately, many people have to be unemployed temporarily going through this apocalyptic iatrogenic phenomenon. It’s beastly. But you’re doing the only thing possible to really get your life and self back. And you *will* be able to go back to school and work. You’ll also live longer.

    And you really are in the vanguard of an historic movement....
    Meds free since June 2005.

    "An initiation into shamanic healing means a devaluation of all values, an overturning of the profane world, a peeling away of inveterate handed-down notions of the world, liberation from everything preconceived. For that reason, shamanism is closely connected with suffering. One must suffer the disintegration of one's own system of thought in order to perceive a new world in the higher space."
    -- Holger Kalweit

  9. #9
    Senior Member biscotaki's Avatar
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    Hi Ruby,
    I am sorry you are hurting ..:( Please know that you are in the best of hands here ..
    I am thinking of you, and have you in my prayers.
    Sending you healing love ..biscotaki

  10. #10
    Member RubyTuesday's Avatar
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    What Should I do?

    I have been on my Remiron at 3.75 for exactly 5 weeks. I feel I am through the withdrawal now and am again having the symptoms that I have had before when I have decided they are caused by the drug, not the w/d. I was on 7.5 since last July. The symptoms I feel are caused by the drug are: panic attacks, extreme weepiness, a little sedated, foggy, mild paralysis/fatigue. I feel the w/d symptoms are all of the above plus headaches, confusion, sensations in my skull like a limb has fallen asleep, and a sort of pervasive feeling of not being anchored in my body, like I am just about to pass out.
    Every time I tapered down it was because I could no longer stand the panic and extreme weepiness. I am at that point again. I am thinking of tapering down again. I know there are issues in my life that give me unpleasant feelings--I just went through a big breakup--but I really feel these feelings get intensified by the drug, not relieved.
    Can someone please talk to me.
    RubyTuesday
    (I should add that I did not go directly from 7.5 to 3.75. Instead I followed my doctor's instructions: 3.75 for a week, then stop. But three days into the "stop" I went into w/d, got on the Internet, started reading, and popped it back up to 3.75. That was April 11.)

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