Hello Stan,thank you for your support; my english is not good either but I´m sure we´ll manage.
13 years taking Paxil for GAD....13 years is a lot! well, for me.. I have so many questions for you people that I really don´t know where to start.
As I told you my main problem is anxiety...fear, insecurity plus depression, not severe but it´s there.A Dr. told me that "now" they know that anxiety and depression always come together....here is something to share with you people.
Well despite of my emotional problems I decided to go on and step on a stage and sing...! because I think I have the gift and I could not let it waste because of my problems.
And I did it fighting the avoidance behavior and became a performer (with alcohol help)
After I sober up (that´s another story) my problems with anxiety continued and I handle it with very small amounts of CLONAZEPAM, exercise and got into this relationship that never worked very well and after 15 years of bumpy road we ended pretty much hating each other, we split, at that time a financial catastrofe occured in my family...and I crashed into a very nasty depression.I won´t go into details but it was very bad.
I tried to stay out of SSRIS but at the end I thought I was gonna died so I started taking EFFEXXOR xr and let me tell that it saved my life.
That was 4 years ago, at the begining, and after being so ill the med made feel good, for the first time in my life I didn´t have the need of benzos and besides the sexual problems and tiredness, I was happy because life came back to me.
But I have noticed that I am more tired,apathetic and anxiety is coming back strongly.I struggle every morning because I just can´t move my body! If I don´t make a real effort, I can´t leave the bed, then guilt gets me, I feel like a lazy man, but the strange thing is that even the things that I used to like a lot, exercise, sports,hobbys, I feel sadly indifferent about it.
I went to the shrwink (is this vocabulary ok?) and don´t like them very much... and I told him more or less this same thing I´m telling you and he told me that I probalby I needed more med 225mgs Effexor.I told him no and I asked him when would I be able to go off the drug;he couldn´t answer he said that I was in "remission"
Remission? I asked what is remission? does it mean I have to take the drug for a long time or even for life? and he said:yes.
So I am confused, scared and I have A LOT of questions for you people but now I´m going to bed. Blessings, A.