LOL, synchros going on big time these days. :) I'll paste it in in a moment, Sheila.
LOL, synchros going on big time these days. :) I'll paste it in in a moment, Sheila.
Keep walking. Just keep walking.
Ok, posting a link. Turns out, no pasting needed;
http://www.patientslikeme.com/members/34434/about_me
Keep walking. Just keep walking.
Creo que ayer cometí un grave error.
Me forcé a tener sexo con mi novia, con la ayuda de 50mg de Viagra; la sobre-estimulación fué tremenda, por la noche el cortisol casi no me dejó dormir.
Creo que el sexo es algo a lo que también debo renunciar por ahora cierto?
Mi novia no acaba de comprender mi situación y yo no me resigno a renunciar a ciertas cosas.
Yo estaba manejando bastante bien el insomnio, ahora tengo miedo de que lo haya arruinado....
No lo has arruinado a tu sueñno. ¡Que bueno que lo estabas manejando bastante bien al insomnio! Vas a volver a estabilizar.
Probablemente, tomar el Viagra no es una buena idea. Como sabes, hay otras maneras de ser sexual, intimo, cariñoso.
Supongo que podrías intentar una dosis más baja del Viagra, o podrías investigar si hay suplementos que ayudan con el PSSD (post-SSRI sexual dysfunction). También, hay una cosa que se llama “erection ring” or “tension ring.” Esto me parece una opción mejor en cuanto a evitar a contribuir al caos neurológico.
Pero, te juro que se corrigerá por si mismo.
El otro aspecto de tu anécdota es que “te esforzaste” sexualmente. Eso, en si, puede ser causa de mucha angustia.
Meds free since June 2005.
"An initiation into shamanic healing means a devaluation of all values, an overturning of the profane world, a peeling away of inveterate handed-down notions of the world, liberation from everything preconceived. For that reason, shamanism is closely connected with suffering. One must suffer the disintegration of one's own system of thought in order to perceive a new world in the higher space."
-- Holger Kalweit
Hola Sheila, yo puedo percibir por tu forma de expresarte, por el manejo del idioma, tanto inglés como español, por tus conocimientos académicos y profesionales, que eres una mujer inteligente, educada y culta.Además percibo una sensibilidad y espiritualidad extraordinarias que hacen de tí creo yo, una persona fuera de lo común.
Yo me encuentro en una encrucijada de mi vida, que en verdad no me esperaba.
Soy un hombre de 59 años, que he luchado toda mi vida a mi manera con una condición discapacitante como lo es la ansiedad, que impidió de alguna forma que me desarrollara satisfactoriamente en mis habilidades en la vida.
Hace 5 años caí en una depresión muy grave, producto de los mismos problemas que he arrastrado toda mi vida: inseguridad, codependencia, alcoholismo;
Ahora mi vida es menos que miserable: miedo patológico durante el día, insomnio implacable durante la noche, reclusión social, minusvalía sexual, pérdida de gusto por la vida...
Yo NECESITO que tú que creo que eres una persona brillante, me dé RAZONES PARA SEGUIR VIVIENDO, porque a mí se me hace muy difícil.
Mi razonamiento es muy sencillo: VALE LA PENA VIVIR ASÍ??
Pienso mucho en la muerte.
You can answer me in english.
Hola la noche de ayer fué bastante mejor.Cuando esto sucede, me siento mejor.
Perdona el anterior mensaje negativo; hoy me siento mejor y comprendo el proceso terrible de sanación que estoy pasando, y lo acepto.
El miedo es un componente poderoso en este proceso.
NO quiero ser el Alejandro que me llevó hasta este extremo en la vida.
Yes, Alex, that is very very important. Of course, to "rebel" from time to time isn't a bad thing either - the "saintest" of saints would have enough of WD. :) But, the more it will be improving, the more will to live you will have.Originally Posted by alex
Keep walking. Just keep walking.
Good for you for re-committing yourself to your own healing, Alex!
Thanks for the very generous words. But, your words reflect more on you than on me – they show what an appreciative, sensitive, giving person you are. They also may show, more subtly, that you find it easier to value other people than to value yourself.
Although our illness was caused by a modern chemical, I believe that this poisoning has initiated a Kundalini awakening or shamanic initiatory illness. This phenomenon has existed since ancient times. It is a thing that happens to some people in order to re-make them into a more powerful, evolved version of themselves.
This process is often very painful. It involves a kind of death. Your first life ends, and your second life begins – without actually dying, but with a thorough purging and remodeling that is gruesome.
But, it always, always, always comes to an end. And the person who has gone through this process is able to return to normal life *and* has new capacities and gifts.
* * *
Now, this next part I am not as clear on, because I’m still in it, but the worst traumas from your past and your worst fear during w/d become the springboards for your greatest strength, creativity, and purpose.
* * *
Finally, at the simplest level, you simply cannot trust your assessment of your life right now. It is warped by neuro-emotion. You will get better, and then you will wonder why the hell you thought your life was so worthless. I have seen this happen over and over.
I have learned to tell myself, in the midst of the neurological storm, you cannot trust your assessment of your past, present, or future right now. You just have to wait.
Meds free since June 2005.
"An initiation into shamanic healing means a devaluation of all values, an overturning of the profane world, a peeling away of inveterate handed-down notions of the world, liberation from everything preconceived. For that reason, shamanism is closely connected with suffering. One must suffer the disintegration of one's own system of thought in order to perceive a new world in the higher space."
-- Holger Kalweit
Thank you Sheila for your support and kindness. Yes, as a matter of fact, I don´t want to be back to who I was before all this ordeal began. I think I´m having a "window", low levels of anxiety, no neuro-fear; I went to the coast and I was able to "enjoy" a simple lunch by the sea-shore with my girlfriend.
This is a bitter-sweet sensation, because it makes me forget for a moment that I am sick;then, I return home, to my bedroom and I remember that I have the night coming and the struggle with insomnia.
As a matter of fact, as I´ve said before, sleep is the main torment for me in this process.
It torments me psychologicaly in many ways: 1)Would I ever be able to sleep normally? 2)Would I ever be able to travel and sleep somewhere else besides my bed? 3) I´m taking med.to help me sleep; am I gonna become adicted?
As you can see, I can manage symptoms during the day, but sleep or the lack of sleep, just terryfies me.
I know I am in early W/D, but still a BIG concern for me because I CAN´T CONTROL IT
At 6 months+23 days aprox. Effexor free, these are my symptoms:
Floating anxiety, neuro-fear, weakness, sore eyes, lack of apetite, weight loss, tinitus (low) smell hypersensitivity,anhedonia,(can´t watch TV specially violence), obsessive thoughts (W/D) and INSOMNIA.
I don´t have almost any physical symptoms, all of them are psychological.
Great to hear you are having a window, Alex! Those will be getting longer and more intense.
Keep walking. Just keep walking.
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