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Thread: My story

  1. #1
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    My story

    I wish I were a better writer it’s definitely not my gift. I am a much better verbal communicator…but here goes. I started antidepressant after my second son was born, sometime early 1998. After a couple of years, I developed sleep issues, which I eventually had to get another prescription for. Over the years, there were times when I would not refill my script thinking and hoping I wouldn’t need them anymore. I went into full withdrawals, which made me feel crazy and much worse than before I started them. Back then, the doctors were telling people they had a chemical imbalance and may have to be on antidepressants for life ~ I bought into that.

    About 4 years ago, I felt a strong conviction to get off these drugs because I felt they were taking away my spunk, my life. I slept a lot and did not care if I had friends. I lost interest in hobbies and enjoying even my husband and family. Anyway, I have tried 4-5 times over this last 4 years and this last time I did so well (so I thought) but then as soon as I had some difficulty with my young son I couldn’t handle it and thought I needed to get back on Prozac. (SIDE NOTE: I now know I was still in full-fledged withdrawals making it difficult to handle what was going on with my son) That was the end of Oct. 2012. Slowly, once again, my life lost meaning and I sunk back into a medically induce depression…from Prozac (only 5 mg’s) did this to me! Eventually I did have to add trazodone for sleep.

    Fast forward…about 3 months ago, confused as ever, frustrated at myself, and desperate, I called out to the Lord. I begged him to show me the way he would have me go. I asked for a sign, I needed his guidance. After about three weeks of nothing, I was starting to believe I was supposed to stay on the meds. Then one “Glorious Day” unexpectedly, my son totally laid into me. He told me I would die young if I do not change my ways. He said I wasn’t there for him and all I did was sleep, he said, 70% of my life away. He confronted me saying these are drugs, you will end up with dementia, and he said a lot more. Thankfully, through his anger, I could see pain, the same pain a loved one would have for an Alcoholic family member and even though the Doctor prescribed my pills…that didn’t matter to my son who was worried for his dependant mother. That same day I went to work and a dear friend’s husband came for a haircut. Out of the blue, he confided in my in confidence that his wife told him she didn’t have any friends. We became good friends during a time I was off medications. It hit me so hard…God was speaking loud and clear. Whew…………….I have learned so much and educated myself like never before. Researching and reading several books about psychiatric medications. I have learned how bad they are for the brain and how they actually cause the “Chemical Imbalance”.

    I had to persevere and am still fighting to regain my life. It is a slow process, but I feel so blessed to have this chance. God is not just a God of second Chances.

    Here is a list of the book I have read:

    Anatomy Of An Epidemic by Robert Whitaker

    Psychiatric Drug Withdrawal by Peter Breggin, MD

    The Antidepressant Solution by Joseph Glenmullen


    As of now I am currently taking ½ mg Prozac every other day, and 12.5 mg Trazodone. I plan on stabilizing on the Trazodone for at least 3-6 months before considering tapering. I want off these meds so desperately but if my past is a map to my success I have to take the slooooooowwwwww Path!

  2. #2
    Founder Luc's Avatar
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    Hello, Miranda. Welcome to IAWP! That is fantastic you've read those great books - they are a real eye-opener.

    What doses of Prozac were you exactly on and how fast did you taper down to 0.5 mg?

    As for Prozac, do NOT take it every other day - it will aggrevate your symptoms. It needs to be taken regularly, otherwise your body will oscilliate between withdrawal and reinstatement. What symptoms are you experiencing right now?

    You are doing incredible job. Yes, the healing process may take some time, but you will get your life back. The most important thing, the first step to it is learning the truth about these drugs. And you already know the truth. :)
    Keep walking. Just keep walking.

  3. #3
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    Quote Originally Posted by Luc View Post

    As for Prozac, do NOT take it every other day - it will aggrevate your symptoms. It needs to be taken regularly, otherwise your body will oscilliate between withdrawal and reinstatement.
    Interesting story, Miranda

    I understand the suffering for your children. I identify with you ...

    A hug
    Mar/2009 (diacepam+nortriptilina).Aprl-2010 (sulpiride+diacepam). May-2010:Tranxene 20 mg+SEROXAT 20mg
    TAPER BENZO:Apr-2011 20-10mg.; Sep-Nov -2011 taper 10 a 0mg. BENZO FREE 06/11/2011
    TAPER SEROXAT: jul-ago-11: de 20 a 10 mg; Dic-11/jan-10-5mg;Apr-sep-12 5-0mg . SEROXAT FREE: 15/09/2012
    Internal tremor, brain fog, memory, lack of concentration, anxiety. Problem original: Stress

  4. #4
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    Welcome, Miranda!

    Nice phrase – “medically-induced depression”!

    Fast forward…about 3 months ago, confused as ever, frustrated at myself, and desperate, I called out to the Lord. I begged him to show me the way he would have me go. I asked for a sign, I needed his guidance. After about three weeks of nothing, I was starting to believe I was supposed to stay on the meds. Then one “Glorious Day” unexpectedly, my son totally laid into me. He told me I would die young if I do not change my ways. He said I wasn’t there for him and all I did was sleep, he said, 70% of my life away. He confronted me saying these are drugs, you will end up with dementia, and he said a lot more. Thankfully, through his anger, I could see pain, the same pain a loved one would have for an Alcoholic family member and even though the Doctor prescribed my pills…that didn’t matter to my son who was worried for his dependant mother. That same day I went to work and a dear friend’s husband came for a haircut. Out of the blue, he confided in my in confidence that his wife told him she didn’t have any friends. We became good friends during a time I was off medications. It hit me so hard…God was speaking loud and clear. Whew…………….I have learned so much and educated myself like never before.
    This is a beautiful, fabulous account of an awakening. You wrote it excellently! Bravo to you for being able to hear your son’s confrontation as a true sign from God! That’s really amazing how you asked for guidance and got it and *heeded* it.

    As Luc says, it’s important to take the same dose of Prozac every day. Do let us know what dose you’re at and how you got there, so we can advise you.
    Meds free since June 2005.

    "An initiation into shamanic healing means a devaluation of all values, an overturning of the profane world, a peeling away of inveterate handed-down notions of the world, liberation from everything preconceived. For that reason, shamanism is closely connected with suffering. One must suffer the disintegration of one's own system of thought in order to perceive a new world in the higher space."
    -- Holger Kalweit

  5. #5
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    Thank you Parox2010! My son and I are doing much better. :)

  6. #6
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    Good morning Luc and Shiela,

    Thank you for the warm welcome. I was only taking 5 mg when I started the taper. I am extremely sensitive to antidepressants. I am on day 48 of my taper. I am keeping a daily log that I downloaded. I had only mild symptoms of trouble with sleep, hyperactivity, and trouble concentrating. I do not have any symptoms now and the ones I mentioned only 2-3 days at the end of each taper.

    http://www.drglenmullen.com/AS%20Appendix%201.pdf


    I just finished reading many accounts in Dr Breggin’s book “Psychiatric Drug Withdrawal” where he actually tapered someone by taking away one 5 mg tablet of Prozac one day a week for a time until the subject was down to only one 5 mg pill a week and then he took her off it. The strange thing is this is his newest book. He did this with many drugs with success. Other information I have read from the books I mentioned before rules out Prozac because of its long half-life as a drug that needs to taper daily. I am definitely not trying to argue or say you are wrong by any means. I was just wondering why Dr. Breggin and others who write these books say different. I want to do this the best way for sure and I really appreciate any advice. One thing that gave me courage was seeing how Dr Breggin helped his patients taper in a way that made them feel safe as well as safe for there brain. Therefore, my reasoning for the .5 mg every other day is because I was actually two weeks off Prozac entirely and I felt some emotional instability and it frightened me. From my reading I learned to reinstate a low dose (and from my prior experience) I know my body. Anyway, I thought because of the unease that comes with past traumatic experiences it was worth a try to do it the way Dr. Breggin did with some of his patients. I figure doing this is much better than failing and the amount of yo-yoing my poor brain has endured from trial and error and failure and complete reinstatement of the full dose over the years…this is hardly anything to sweat over considering it is ½ mg.

    What are your thoughts?

  7. #7
    Founder Luc's Avatar
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    Yes, the slow taper is the best way to go. Have you seen this info, Miranda? http://antidepressantwithdrawal.info/en/tapering.php The standard tapering "procedure" is cutting 10% of current dose every 3-6 weeks. In some cases, even slower taper is possible. Also, I can't stress this enough, taking the drug every other day should be absolutely avoided. The regularity is a must in WD. Step by step.
    Keep walking. Just keep walking.

  8. #8
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    Yes, thank you Luc. I will def go at least that slow if not slower on the Trazodone. I believe you, but I still wonder why a Doctor would taper Prozac that way? Strange…I mean not just any doctor, Dr Breggin the Dr who has written so much about the harm of psychiatric medication. It just baffles me…

  9. #9
    Founder Luc's Avatar
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    Very often, the "on-the-ground" knowledge, verified by tens of thousands (or much more) trial and error taperings over the years and on many different AD and benzo forums proves to be the most effective and closest to the truth. In most cases, the slower taper is simply much more effective and less painful than the short one.
    Keep walking. Just keep walking.

  10. #10
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    I'm no expert. But prozac has a long half life, which means that withdrawal symptoms may take a few weeks to appear..

    A small dose is 5mg. Go very, very slowly. You could even make a stop at 5 mg for 1 to 2 months, in order to give a break to the body, to embrace the changes that are occurring.

    I stop for 2 months when I was on 5 mg. After the decline continued.

    Ah! and I have not had extreme symptoms with the withdrawal of paroxetine (Paxil / Seroxat).

    Hug
    Mar/2009 (diacepam+nortriptilina).Aprl-2010 (sulpiride+diacepam). May-2010:Tranxene 20 mg+SEROXAT 20mg
    TAPER BENZO:Apr-2011 20-10mg.; Sep-Nov -2011 taper 10 a 0mg. BENZO FREE 06/11/2011
    TAPER SEROXAT: jul-ago-11: de 20 a 10 mg; Dic-11/jan-10-5mg;Apr-sep-12 5-0mg . SEROXAT FREE: 15/09/2012
    Internal tremor, brain fog, memory, lack of concentration, anxiety. Problem original: Stress

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