I wish I were a better writer it’s definitely not my gift. I am a much better verbal communicator…but here goes. I started antidepressant after my second son was born, sometime early 1998. After a couple of years, I developed sleep issues, which I eventually had to get another prescription for. Over the years, there were times when I would not refill my script thinking and hoping I wouldn’t need them anymore. I went into full withdrawals, which made me feel crazy and much worse than before I started them. Back then, the doctors were telling people they had a chemical imbalance and may have to be on antidepressants for life ~ I bought into that.

About 4 years ago, I felt a strong conviction to get off these drugs because I felt they were taking away my spunk, my life. I slept a lot and did not care if I had friends. I lost interest in hobbies and enjoying even my husband and family. Anyway, I have tried 4-5 times over this last 4 years and this last time I did so well (so I thought) but then as soon as I had some difficulty with my young son I couldn’t handle it and thought I needed to get back on Prozac. (SIDE NOTE: I now know I was still in full-fledged withdrawals making it difficult to handle what was going on with my son) That was the end of Oct. 2012. Slowly, once again, my life lost meaning and I sunk back into a medically induce depression…from Prozac (only 5 mg’s) did this to me! Eventually I did have to add trazodone for sleep.

Fast forward…about 3 months ago, confused as ever, frustrated at myself, and desperate, I called out to the Lord. I begged him to show me the way he would have me go. I asked for a sign, I needed his guidance. After about three weeks of nothing, I was starting to believe I was supposed to stay on the meds. Then one “Glorious Day” unexpectedly, my son totally laid into me. He told me I would die young if I do not change my ways. He said I wasn’t there for him and all I did was sleep, he said, 70% of my life away. He confronted me saying these are drugs, you will end up with dementia, and he said a lot more. Thankfully, through his anger, I could see pain, the same pain a loved one would have for an Alcoholic family member and even though the Doctor prescribed my pills…that didn’t matter to my son who was worried for his dependant mother. That same day I went to work and a dear friend’s husband came for a haircut. Out of the blue, he confided in my in confidence that his wife told him she didn’t have any friends. We became good friends during a time I was off medications. It hit me so hard…God was speaking loud and clear. Whew…………….I have learned so much and educated myself like never before. Researching and reading several books about psychiatric medications. I have learned how bad they are for the brain and how they actually cause the “Chemical Imbalance”.

I had to persevere and am still fighting to regain my life. It is a slow process, but I feel so blessed to have this chance. God is not just a God of second Chances.

Here is a list of the book I have read:

Anatomy Of An Epidemic by Robert Whitaker

Psychiatric Drug Withdrawal by Peter Breggin, MD

The Antidepressant Solution by Joseph Glenmullen


As of now I am currently taking ½ mg Prozac every other day, and 12.5 mg Trazodone. I plan on stabilizing on the Trazodone for at least 3-6 months before considering tapering. I want off these meds so desperately but if my past is a map to my success I have to take the slooooooowwwwww Path!