My story (long sorry)

[hermi]

Well I seem to have come through the worst of that episode! (for now). Woke up feeling a little better today so I hope I get a bit of a break from it all for a while now. We will see.
I have had more rest this last week and I'm not working more than usual, except for Monday as its a bank holiday = more pay.
Had headaches on and off for the last few days but that is getting better.
Early night tonight and tomorrow in preparation for work Monday. I have noticed a big difference now I am getting more sleep!

[Luc]

Great to hear you're getting some relief, Hermi. There's absolutely the correlation and causation between getting more rest and the symptoms being less severe. No doubt whatsoever.

[Sheila]

[hermi]

Well I spoke too soon. Woke up drenched in sweat and bad tremors, I was shaking all over really badly when I first woke up and had I felt very nervous too.
I have been in a foul mood all day again, I can't shake it off at all. It's so intense.
My joints hurt and my muscles ache. My youngest has a bad cold, I wonder if I am coming down with that. I always notice an increase in w/d symptoms if I'm brewing to be ill. I hope not. All I want to do is sleep as well.
I'm getting so fed up now, this bad 'patch' seems to be going on and on more than usual.
I'm beginning to wonder if I've done the right thing coming off those medicines. I'm not going back on them but to be honest at the moment I don't feel any better off them than on them.
My husband has finally admitted he wants a divorce from the 'fruit loop' and crazy woman who has spent 6 years barking at the moon, apparently. The mad woman who has cost him 2 well paid jobs, ruined his life, squashed any enthusiasm of life out of him, and has put him off ever getting involved in another relationship ever again. He wants to be alone on an island with his dog! Lets not hold back hey...I'm glad he has told me how he really feels, at least I now know what he really thinks. I'm not being responsible for anyone else's misery, he has made this decision very easy for me now.
Trouble is at the moment I don't really feel any more sane!
I'm not sure where I'm going from here. The prospect of doing this alone frightens me but maybe I can only achieve a full recovery without the resentment and negativity of my husband around me all the time.
He may change his mind again by tomorrow, still I think I know what I need to do now

[Sheila]

I’m really sorry you’re going through this multi-layered Hell.

I don’t think now is a good time to make a decision about your marriage. You really can’t trust your assessment of things right now. I’m sure you have some real problems in the marriage, and I’m sure meds and w/d have added terrible stress, but you are also experiencing neuro-rage right now.

Your feelings are largely influenced by the chemical re-organization still going on in your body. The feelings are partially real, but grossly exaggerated.

I suggest that you ask your husband to join pp or SA and let him ask for support and guidance for being the partner of someone going through adverse reaction and w/d.

Also, are you taking your one fish oil pill? It’s time to go up to the next one. Omega-3 is great for neurological repair, depression, anxiety, anger, impulsivity.

Other people have been where you are now and were later glad they did not act precipitously on marital problems after they recovered from the meds.

[Luc]

On average, the bad patches will be getting better, Hermi. The only problem is their cyclical nature - they happen over and over again, which is extremely frustrating.

Yes, definitely - please remember that many of those feelings are caused by WD, and all of them are augmented by WD.

[hermi]

Sheila,
Thanks for that. Rage is an understatement! I really feel like the next person that does something to annoy me could easily be ripped to bits by my bare hands. The trouble is its only taking something very small to annoy me to that extent. I don't like it at all. I'm miserable and moody at the slightest thing. I don't feel well at all.
I was thinking, I haven't that long ago started taking the fish oil and when I first did I had problems until I discovered popping the capsule for some reason wasn't causing problems (or so I thought). Does anyone think it could be the fish oil causing the problem??? Its been 2 weeks since I started it or could it be coincidence that I started to feel so bad a week after starting to take it?
I'm feeling very unsure. I have thought about increasing the dose but I'm scared that I will feel even worse (if thats possible).

[hermi]

and people recover? I don't feel like this is even a possibility, just a never ending cycle of extreme happiness and misery...but more misery than happiness...on and on and on...

[Sheila]

Gosh, hermi, maybe the Omega-3 *is* too activating for you. Maybe you should try stopping it for a few days and see how you feel. It’s very hard to know, because your neuro-rage could just be happening anyway. Omega-3 is supposed to be good for anger and impulsivity.

But this is a new iatrogenic syndrome and know one knows how it works yet. You may not be able to tolerate *the change* of adding anything. Or it could be increasing blood flow to the brain or something which would eventually be good for you, but your dysautonomic state can’t handle the change.

Yet, you eat 2,000 mg of Omega-3 from fish at a sitting and tolerate that….I’m boggled. What do you think?

I so know what that rage is like. It has helped me a lot to exercise when that comes up.

Oh, yes, you will definitely heal. It’s just a horrible ride.

[hermi]

The rage thing, irritability, and moodiness I had all along whilst on the meds, in a cycle of about 2 weeks ok then a week or 2 being like I am now. When I came off the sertraline and mirtazipine I felt a whole load better.
At the moment its worse than ever! I'm so angry and irritable. Like you say it could have happened anyway, omega-3 or no omega-3. I suppose its hard to know if in the long run the omega-3 will doing good things but for now in the short term it may be affecting me negatively. Who knows what the effects of something is going to be until it is tried?
I wonder whether to persevere a couple more weeks and see if it settles.
I haven't listed all the effects that I had been getting on the meds or since coming off them, just the ones that are giving the most trouble.
I know I have mentioned lack of sleep and tiredness before.
I'm getting more consistent sleep now on the whole, although the night before last I couldn't get to sleep even though I was worn out.
I am feeling a lot more tired at the moment even with more rest, and I'm not waking refreshed at all. I think this is since I have been feeling so bad over the last week or so. Its exhausting battling with yourself all the time! I feel like there is 2 of me and the bad one is winning at the moment!