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Thread: My story (long sorry)

  1. #11
    Founder stan's Avatar
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    staying away from any psychotropic for me, eat healthy and the time will make the rest
    12 years paxil(9 years only 10 mg) - cold turkey(1,5 month) and switch celexa tapered 1 year 20 mg
    62 years old - for GAD - 4 years 3 months meds free [since april 2009]

    vegetables soup - orange (vit C) - curcuma - some meat or fish

  2. #12
    Senior Member hermi's Avatar
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    The omega-3 are around about 700mg in total, can't remember off by heart. I am still waiting for them to be delivered. I will try them and see. Even if I can't tolerate them now for the moment they may come in useful later on when I can tolerate them.
    When I had PND I never had any sort of connection with my now 5 year old (BC). When I got pregnant with my now 2 year old (JC) it gave us something to focus on together. I took him to all the scans and midwife appointments - he loved listening to the heartbeat and seeing the baby on the screen during the scans. He talked to my tummy all the time. When JC was born he recognised BC's voice and turned his head instantly to him, they have a great relationship. It seemed to make me and BC closer too. Then when I went into hospital he was very traumatised, he carried around this toy dog all the time for comfort and refused to put it down. It went with him to school - my husband explained to the school what had happened and they allowed him to have it there.
    The only time he put it down was when he visited me, and even after I got home for a few weeks after it was his favourite comfort. Its forgotten now and we seem to be back on track. He is just very insecure but I'm sure with time this will continue to improve.

    The early morning symptoms are just the withdrawals then it seems?
    I am taking a magnesium supplement to see of that helps with the muscle aches I sometimes get. I've only been taking them for 3 days, I have yet to see if they will make a difference positive or negative. Saying that I did have about an hour of 'anxiety' yesterday afternoon which I haven't had for a long while as it always morning time usually. If this happens regularly or gets worse I will stop the magnesium and see. It maybe that for now my system can't tolerate any supplements for now.
    Working gives me something to distract me. Its harder when I'm at home I have more time when the jobs are done to think about it all.
    Talking of work, I had better go get a shower, get some dinner and go! Oh the joys!
    Started on Sertraline 50mg January 2011 (increased to 200mg over a couple of months)
    Started on Risperidone for 'resistant depression' end of Feb 2011
    Stopped Sertraline October 2012
    Started Mirtazipine October 2012
    Stopped Mirtazipine December 2012
    Stopped Risperidone March 2013

  3. #13
    Founder Luc's Avatar
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    You may want to try how the Omega will work, and you will take it from there. How much magnesium are you currently taking, Hermi?
    Keep walking. Just keep walking.

  4. #14
    Senior Member hermi's Avatar
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    Magnesium Citrate 100mg - I'm taking 2 a day, the dose should be 3 a day but I thought I would see how I react. I will start the fish oil again once I know how I am with this magnesium. I don't want to introduce too much at once. Yesterdays extra 'anxiety' in the afternoon may have just been a coincidence as today I've not had that happen.
    Started on Sertraline 50mg January 2011 (increased to 200mg over a couple of months)
    Started on Risperidone for 'resistant depression' end of Feb 2011
    Stopped Sertraline October 2012
    Started Mirtazipine October 2012
    Stopped Mirtazipine December 2012
    Stopped Risperidone March 2013

  5. #15
    Senior Member hermi's Avatar
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    Actually I feel intensely happy today - I'm not sure it's 'normal' but it makes a change from having an intense bad feeling. I will enjoy it whilst it last because although as nice as it is, it isn't really me...
    Started on Sertraline 50mg January 2011 (increased to 200mg over a couple of months)
    Started on Risperidone for 'resistant depression' end of Feb 2011
    Stopped Sertraline October 2012
    Started Mirtazipine October 2012
    Stopped Mirtazipine December 2012
    Stopped Risperidone March 2013

  6. #16
    Founder Sheila's Avatar
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    That's a great sign you were feeling so happy!

    The magnesium should help a bit with anxiety and tension and you are going about starting it in the right way. Slowly.

    That's a lovely, moving story about your son BC. It does sound like he's recovering nicely. Somewhere here on the forum we have an article about newborns turning to the voice of someone they recognize from in utero, like the father. You have made a wonderful effort to bond with him.

    Yes, the early morning stuff is all classic w/d. Classic.

    Here's an interesting tidbit I just read, and I’ve read this before –

    “Postpartum depression is 50 times more common in countries with low levels of seafood consumption. During pregnancy, a woman’s body becomes depleted of fatty acids, which are transferred to the fetus….

    An NIH study tracking 14,541 women from their eighth week of pregnancy to eight months after giving birth found those who had no seafood - rich in omega-3 - had nearly twice the rate of depression as those who ate 10 ounces of fish daily, leading the authors to conclude: "Omega-3 fatty acids have beneficial health effects with no adverse side effects."
    Meds free since June 2005.

    "An initiation into shamanic healing means a devaluation of all values, an overturning of the profane world, a peeling away of inveterate handed-down notions of the world, liberation from everything preconceived. For that reason, shamanism is closely connected with suffering. One must suffer the disintegration of one's own system of thought in order to perceive a new world in the higher space."
    -- Holger Kalweit

  7. #17
    Senior Member hermi's Avatar
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    That's very interesting, more people should be made aware of this.
    The other thing I have noticed is how tired I am. Initially I was led to believe that it was all to do the 'depression'. The first few days of taking the rispiradone caused me to be very sedated even just on 0.5mg, it was increased after about a week to 1mg and again with the increase I was very sedated for a couple of days. My sleep whilst on the meds was always very unsettled. Although I slept for a good few hours at a time my husband say I talked a lot, tossed and turned and was generally quite unsettled. I also had vivid strange dreams nearly every night - and the fact that I could always remember them each morning shows just how much I did vividly dream. When I was coming off the rispiradone I couldn't sleep at all initially and I have had a few nights where its been very little/broken sleep sometimes 2 hours or less.
    I still have vivid strange dreams some nights. Some have been disturbingly strange since stopping the meds - I only had disturbing ones when I was pregnant with BC, and a few times on all the meds.
    I've had blood tests to test my thyroid function a couple of times but thats been ok. I have also been tested for diabetes a couple of times as a few unrelated symptoms (unrelated to each other or the depression) could be a sign of that but thats clear.
    I've always needed quite a bit of sleep, but I go to bed between 10 and 11pm and sleep until 07:30 even then I wake up tired and by about 2:30pm if i'm at home and doing nothing I cannot keep my eyes open and succumb to the overwhelming need to sleep. I try and find things to do but even then whilst I'm doing it overwhelming and I end up lying down where I am and taking an hours nap! At work its doubly hard coz I can't fall asleep but the urge is there by that time in the afternoon..I'm lucky enough to be in a job where I can 'disappear' for an hour or so and no one questions it so I walk round the building going from one area to another just to keep moving - it's hell!

    It may be unrelated to anything but just wondered if anyone has any suggestions apart from caffeine!
    Started on Sertraline 50mg January 2011 (increased to 200mg over a couple of months)
    Started on Risperidone for 'resistant depression' end of Feb 2011
    Stopped Sertraline October 2012
    Started Mirtazipine October 2012
    Stopped Mirtazipine December 2012
    Stopped Risperidone March 2013

  8. #18
    Founder Sheila's Avatar
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    Think of the sleepiness while on the risperidone and the sleepiness now as having two very different causes. On the med, you *were* sedated and your sleep architecture was interfered with.

    But, now you’re in w/d and neurological repair from three meds, and sleep is healing. You need sleep to heal. The more sleep, the better. I would really stay away from caffeine and instead try to find ways to make room for sleep.

    Throughout my recovery I have absolutely *had* to take a nap daily.

    Can you eat your lunch at your desk and then take your lunch hour at 2:30 and take a nap in a conference room, broom closet, or your car? You can tell people you’re tired from having a baby up all night or something.

    Meds free since June 2005.

    "An initiation into shamanic healing means a devaluation of all values, an overturning of the profane world, a peeling away of inveterate handed-down notions of the world, liberation from everything preconceived. For that reason, shamanism is closely connected with suffering. One must suffer the disintegration of one's own system of thought in order to perceive a new world in the higher space."
    -- Holger Kalweit

  9. #19
    Senior Member hermi's Avatar
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    I try and get as much sleep as I can. When I'm at home I time my nap if/when JC goes for a nap (he doesn't always need one now), I set BC up with the t.v. for an hour, or if he is at school its not a problem. I have started going to bed earlier, I am aiming for 22:15 at the latest. I can't go earlier because although BC is nearly 6 he can't always go all night without using the loo. I get him up to use the loo when I go up to get ready for bed, that way he isn't getting up at 2 or 3am for a wee and disturbing me.
    At work I can't take an hour out to have a sleep. I rarely get an 'official' break, I do have quiet moments where I can take 10-15 minutes to eat and have a drink. I have to be constantly available to go anywhere in the building I'm needed in case of emergency so when I feel tired that's why I move from one area to another talking to different people to keep me distracted. Depends which bit I'm working that day. Sometimes when I'm really stuck in one area I annoy people by talking to them a lot haha! By about 16:30 the tiredness passes. I tend to keep coffee to morning, when I get in work at 8am I have a coffee and maybe one mid morning. The rest of the day its tea, water, or pure juice.
    I work a lot of hours and most of them are 12 hour shifts, every other week I have a run of 3 12 hour days together and they kill me! This doesn't help so I do try and rest as much as I can.
    Yes I believe sleep is very important for healing in general.

    I have had 3 very good days where I have had quite a bit of energy and I have done more than usual. Its caught up with me today, I slept well but I feel exhausted, I'm working this afternoon but I'm planning an early night when I get in.

    I did try and go to the gym as exercise is supposed to give you more energy but I found that I would go 3 times a week for 2 weeks then I get run down and pick up cold viruses easily and end up not going for that week. I might give that up for now and try again in a few months time as I can't seem to get into a habit with it for now.
    Started on Sertraline 50mg January 2011 (increased to 200mg over a couple of months)
    Started on Risperidone for 'resistant depression' end of Feb 2011
    Stopped Sertraline October 2012
    Started Mirtazipine October 2012
    Stopped Mirtazipine December 2012
    Stopped Risperidone March 2013

  10. #20
    Founder Luc's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by hermi View Post
    I work a lot of hours and most of them are 12 hour shifts, every other week I have a run of 3 12 hour days together and they kill me! This doesn't help so I do try and rest as much as I can
    Wow, that must be really exhausting, Hermi. Kudos to you for keeping fighting so bravely.
    Keep walking. Just keep walking.

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