My Journey of Hell and Healing - Joy

[Sheila]

Hey! Good job of being a squeaky wheel! See? This is one of the things 50-year-old women are just getting good at!

From where I sit, you’re *clearly* going through a very fruitful period of analysis, catharsis, healing, growth. It won’t be all fun, but it is moving apace. And it will lead to g.r.e.a.t things.

Thank you for the loving words, my friend.

[PAROX2010]

I also I have 50.
At 50 begins the age of wisdom and knowledge, lol
The renaissance

[stan]

ooohhh,

if i only had 50!...

[Joy]

Ha, ha...look out world...I will either become healed and very well adjusted or simply an rebellious old lady with an attitude. But Sheila, yes, I see there is change happening in retrospect. I almost feel the family stuff has had to happen..the disconnect. I don't embrace it, but everything has been leading there for some time. Now is the formal end. The intense thoughts have cooled..or I burned myself out with them. Fighting the flow..that is what causes tension.

I had a bad couple of days when the weather was very stormy, heavy rains and wind. I couldn't function. Very sad in bed with no idea how to carry on with any sort of life..unhappy with everything I have and seeing even my relationship as pointless. But, just as the weather changed..I woke up and the sun was out and had a pretty good day yesterday. Like it never happened.

I noticed the other night I had a vibration to my body. Started in my legs and then continued through my entire body. Only noticeable when I was laying still and in the morning. It left or I have not noticed it as my focus has not been there. There was no pain or discomfort with it. Almost a pleasant feeling and one that I think I recall from my pre w/d days.

I have began, 3 days ago retrying my vitamin pill. It is by Flora and I am taking just 1 capsul instead of the 2 it recommends/day. I didn't notice anything negative from this dose. I don't believe the above was because of it..as I seem to have difficulties around weather for some reason.

****SHEILA, today I plan to updose my Omega 3 by 1 pill or 500mg of DHA/EPA. This will put me at 5,500mg/day..or 11 pills.

[Sheila]

I will either become healed and very well adjusted or simply an rebellious old lady with an attitude.

Same thing. ;)

There’s something very creative about looking at an unpleasant thing as “meant to happen,” as you say, and then asking yourself “what creative thing am I supposed to do with this?”

Yeah, man, I’m trying to stop fighting / pushing the Flow so much, too.

Oooh, that vibration sounds like some neato Kundalini energy! So, you had this before?

OK, thanks, I’ve recorded your updose!

[Joy]

Hi Sheila, LOL at your 'same thing'!! That may be true!! ha,ha.

Your posts always make me think. Yes, a different approach to the same problem..a creative approach. I wonder where this will go..

Stop the fight..and go with the flow..is easier but I think sometimes Sheila you have to satisfy yourself that you did all you could toward your end. Then maybe it is time to let go and stop the resistance. It is hard holding back a tidal wave.

Kundalini energy?? I don't know what that is. Although I have seen that word before. I haven't had exactly the same thing..actually I don't remember having it..to be precise, the feeling seemed familiar or not unfamiliar. I started out in my legs and feet and went up the length of my body through the spine and outward. I can't remember if it included my arms. At first it was a very soft vibration, bubbly feeling..almost pins and needles..but didn't make it to that level. I could feel it more when I layed on my side and rested one ankle over the other. I played with it a bit because I couldn't make out what it was. By the morning I didn't like the feeling anymore. It was akin to agitation. Luckily by the time I had my coffee it had left.

[Sheila]

Yes, that’s a good point. I do often have to satisfy myself that I did *everything* possible. Then! I can surrender…..sort of. :)

That’s really good you played with the energy. Keep experimenting.

[Joy]

Hi Sheila,

I hear you...surrender isn't in your vocabulary. Learning to surrender is maybe an art in itself. Sometimes don't you think that the same characteristics, that make us capable and strong, and have taken years to develop can be the same characteristics that can eventually hold us back. I am of course speaking of myself but may be true of others too.

I looked up Kundalini on the internet. I really don't like the sound of that! It is a mystic/magic type thing by the sounds of it and from that I want to stay far away..anything of the occult. Sorry if that sounds closed minded. I did take away out of the short bit I read that this 'awakening'..sets you up to enter a new stage of life. I like that concept. I also agree that at certain times for whatever reason, issues come up and seem to request to be addressed..past issues, family, traumas, etc.. and that there is a breakdown of people's beliefs at this time or at least a questioning of them and we realign our life around our new found understanding of ourselves and of this crazy world we live in. And I would think this would be a healthy thing.
I also think we align ourselves with friends, relationships etc. for a reason. I think we are instinctively drawn to areas we can work on and grow from..Or if you are in destructive mode, the opposite is true. So I find looking at my family relationships this way allows me to see things differently.


I don't have any of it figured out Sheila. I do believe that sometimes life moves us in a certain direction. Where does this energy come from? God? Just our thoughts?..I haven't a clue...is it always for our good or is it what we do with it that determines that? I am a lost sheep. Baaaaaa!
hugs,

[Sheila]

Definitely, the characteristics that are our strengths can hold us back from developing other characteristics. This is where Jung is so great. He’s all about the second half of life, when you’re supposed to develop all the things you didn’t develop in the first half of life. That means moving out of your comfort zone, and trying things you’re not as developed in.

Don’t be afraid of Kundalini. It’s not about tampering with anything we shouldn’t be tampering with. It is, in fact, a science. It’s about an evolutionary potential in all of us that does not get turned on in everyone. It can get turned on by years of yoga practice or by accident, toxic exposure, childbirth, many things.

It can also be turned on by being in the presence of a highly, highly developed person. That’s what happens to the disciples after Jesus’ resurrection when he awakens the Holy Spirit in them and light appears over their heads. Same thing, different culture. Ancient peoples all over the world observed that this is a developmental process that gets awakened in some people.

[Sheila]

Thinking of you. Hope you're doing OK. Sending healing energy!