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Thread: My Journey of Hell and Healing - Joy

  1. #1
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    My Journey of Hell and Healing - Joy

    Hi. I am a new member and have enjoyed reading the many postings. I am having some symptoms that are scaring me and would really appreciate hearing your thoughts on them. I would like to elaborate another time but my situation at this point is:
    I have weaned myself off of Serequel and more recently Effexor. I have been off of Serequel since September and Effexor for about a month now. I have begun taking 25mg of Trazadone to help me sleep. I don't plan to stay on this but I had 5 or 6 mths where I barely slept.

    I have been having muscle tremors whenever any muscle is held in tension. eg. moving my head slowly to one side while pressing lightly against my hand, or turning my lower arm downward in a slow motion while holding my hand in a fist. This effects most muscles when they are isolated under tension. This began to get worse so last Spring I started my taper of Serequel as I believed this was the cause as well as many other symptoms of muscle rigidity...The doctor thought this was medication induced Parkinson's Syndrom, and that it should go away once I was off Serequel. It hasn't. I might be a little better since Effexor has been stopped but I'm not sure either.

    Another disturbing thing has been my blood pressure has gone very high and MOST DISTURBING has been a recent problem with speech!
    It started about 3 or 4 weeks ago when I was confused and having problems understanding things. Then I found when reading aloud I couldn't pronounce words I previously could. I started stuttering when I talked and more recently am having trouble forming sentences when there is something I want to say. Some days are worse and I end up in tears out of frustration. I would think I had a stroke except that these symptoms come and go. Sometimes they last a day or two or sometimes a few hours. Certainly I have noticed when I am tired or not feeling well it is worse. Has anyone experienced anything like this??

    Grateful for any feedback,
    Thank you,
    Joy



  2. #2
    Founder Luc's Avatar
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    Hello, Joy! Welcome to IAWP. Looks like the symptoms you are describing are WD. You've been quite fresh off of the drugs, so it may take a while to improve. The problems with speech, lack of coordination, muscle rigidity, in many cases ataxia, are very common WD symptoms. Same with cognitive and memory problems. Inability to think clearly, feeling depersonalised and derealised. How long exactly did you spend on the drugs?
    Keep walking. Just keep walking.

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    Hi Luc. Thank you for your response. I hadn't come across anyone that mentioned the speech problems in my reading so I am very happy to know that could be a symptom. I am not sure what Ataxia is but will look that up. Just knowing it could be w/d is reassuring. I started taking SSRI's almost 20 years ago for anxiety I was having. I began Prozac and it was very helpful but within 6-8 months of it I ended up in the hospital for suicide attempt. I had no prior history of this. The next couple of years were hell as I tried different meds..and figured i had just 'lost it'. I couldn't work anymore and was full of anxiety and depressed. I can't count how many SSRI's I went on and only Serequel added to Celexa was helpful..for a couple of years and then the pain started, joint, back etc. When I tried to go off, the same as others on here, I would have withdrawl and then end up on meds again as I was so very depressed and felt it must be my underlying condition which was then diagnosed as Bi polar 2. That felt wrong as did the Fibermalagia (excuse the spelling) I was also said to have, and then that changed to Medication induced Parkinson's syndrom to accomadate the tremors. Last Spring after much reading on the internet I decided to start tapering and did that with little difficulty for Serequel and started the same tapering with Effexor. My doctor talked me into keeping the Effexor and putting it back up to a therapeutic dosage that I agreed to. This past winter I was experiencing this horrible feeling of what I refer to as 'hitting the wall'. This is where I become unable to do anything and have a melt down, crying and can't function. This is very exhausting. It was beginning to happen too often. I soon learned that my Blood Pressure was very high and might be the reason for this. Might be the reason I couldn't think and began to feel I was 'very sick'. Just that inner feeling and weakness among other thigns. So I decided to go off of Effexor as I learned that it can cause Blood pressure problems. My doctor said no, but my reading indicates yes. I did the taper while beginning a huge change to healthy eating and being. It is a new attitude from someone that has always believe if you have a headache take a pill. I think I have done really well with things. There have been numerous similar symptoms as others have but the most significant ones being the blood pressure and the speaking difficulty. I am very comforted to know that this could be from w/d.
    I had never realized until recently the incredible changes medications make in your brain. I have experienced windows of normalcy..more than normalcy..it is like a breath of Spring when I feel good and healthy and right with the world. I know it is there...if I can grab it. Even when I have been what would be deemed as depressed and I often was there, I always had another part of my brain that I knew it couldn't be what it seemed.

    This is way more than you asked Luc but I wanted to write it up anyway and maybe will explain some things. Thank you kindly for your feedback. I appreciate this website and what I have been learning from others. I hope anything I might have to say could reassure someone else.
    Last edited by Joy; 04-05-2013 at 01:21 PM. Reason: to add something

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    Hello joy:

    I have also some muscle aches. The tension causes involuntary muscle pain, especially in the jaw, legs, arms. Sometimes I realize that I have fists clenched hands, and at the end it leads to pain in other parts of the body.

    Speech problems are also common in WD. I had problems with my tongue after 3 or 4 months of taking nortriptyline diazepam (is my speech), people did not notice anything when I heard him speak, but I had some difficulty. Sometimes confused words, and I find in my brain for the right word to say ... (use synonyms, lol).

    It's very possible that what happens is for long-term use of antidepressants, benzo and others, and by the WD. You should observe their symptoms and their evolution. if you had a medical checkup to rule out other pathologies (fibromyalgia), the more likely it is WD, and will recover over time.

    Hugs
    Mar/2009 (diacepam+nortriptilina).Aprl-2010 (sulpiride+diacepam). May-2010:Tranxene 20 mg+SEROXAT 20mg
    TAPER BENZO:Apr-2011 20-10mg.; Sep-Nov -2011 taper 10 a 0mg. BENZO FREE 06/11/2011
    TAPER SEROXAT: jul-ago-11: de 20 a 10 mg; Dic-11/jan-10-5mg;Apr-sep-12 5-0mg . SEROXAT FREE: 15/09/2012
    Internal tremor, brain fog, memory, lack of concentration, anxiety. Problem original: Stress

  5. #5
    Founder Luc's Avatar
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    That's been a very long time spent on drugs indeed. One important question, Joy. You've been off of the Effexor for a month now - how long was your taper and what dose were you tapering from?
    Keep walking. Just keep walking.

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    Hi Parox2010, thank you for your email!
    Are you finding things better now? I hope so. I understand the confused words, lol..I had that too however this got worse and I was babbling trying to put together a sentence. If I started stuttering I would just say a different word too...Like I'm going to let a little babbling stop me from talking!! ha,ha.
    I did have checkups with the doctor..actually a couple of doctors and they haven't a clue. Fibromyalgia I was diagnosed with but that is because she couldn't figure out what else the problem was. Interestingy enough when I got off the Serequel the widespread pain started to leave and I was feeling much better however the tremor stayed. Still I have aches and pains but I find the chiropractor helps me immensely!
    Do you find anything helps lift the brain fog? I am finding sleeping, not overdoing it when I feel good and trying stay peaceful keys.
    Thank you, ...it also very nice to hear from you in Spain! Computers are amazing. :O)

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    Hi Luc. I took 225mg of Effexor or 3, 75mg caps/day at the highest. I went down to 2 caps immediately, then weaned down to 1 1/2 pills and after that started a slower taper, removing crystals and I completed the taper over approx 2 mths. I thought I was doing pretty good with the taper. There of course were the electric shocks, I was having melt downs where I couldn't cope and would become angry and cry in frustration., I was very tired and had a brain fog and I would have times where I would feel hot and feverish. The shock sensation passed after about 3 weeks and only come back when I am very tired. Presently, I have times where I feel very unwell and tired. My speech/reading problem continues but today is much better. I burn out quickly as there is no resilience. For the most part I can manage through this. I am interested in learning more about doing a cleanse to take any toxins out of my system. I am not sure if this would be too much for my system or not. Any thoughts on that? I am loosing weight and the puffiness is leaving my face. I haven't been depressed at all which surprises me. Moody yes!, ha,ha. I have totally lost faith in doctors. I know I am on my own with this which is why this website is so valuable to me.

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    Welcome, Joy!

    I’m so sorry you’re having to go through these stressful, scary symptoms. It is highly likely that they are due both to the damaging effects of the meds and to the disarray and slow reorganization caused by getting off the drugs. And the symptoms will slowly heal.

    In early w/d I had trouble pronouncing and ordering words, and I don’t now.

    One question I have is what is the timing of the speech problem in relation to starting the Trazadone?

    Please read the Omega-3 thread, and consider Omega-3 to repair your nervous system and lower your blood pressure.

    Joy – I have to say I think you have tapered off the Effexor too fast. I’m concerned. It might be necessary to go back on, say, 10 – 25 % of your original dose. Stabilize. And re-taper much more slowly.

    Detox would definitely be too much for your system this early on.
    Meds free since June 2005.

    "An initiation into shamanic healing means a devaluation of all values, an overturning of the profane world, a peeling away of inveterate handed-down notions of the world, liberation from everything preconceived. For that reason, shamanism is closely connected with suffering. One must suffer the disintegration of one's own system of thought in order to perceive a new world in the higher space."
    -- Holger Kalweit

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    hello Joy,

    after 20 years it will be a hard way with the up and down; and with time you will be better; i had all you describe and more, and slowly am improving; even today i have still nasty things as brain fog, fibro pains, joint back pains, off balance, blood pressure, cold etc, hopefully all is not always intense as at the beginning
    12 years paxil(9 years only 10 mg) - cold turkey(1,5 month) and switch celexa tapered 1 year 20 mg
    62 years old - for GAD - 4 years 3 months meds free [since april 2009]

    vegetables soup - orange (vit C) - curcuma - some meat or fish

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    Hi Sheila! Thank you for your message. You raised an interesting question about the timing of the Trazadone..the speech problems came about the same time or close to it. I can't say for sure. But interesting. I only took 1/4 pill last night and do feel more alert today and other than a little stumbling in my speech I have been pretty good. I know Trazadone works on seratonin too which I fear might just prolong healing.
    I know I came off Effexor fairly quickly by things I have read. As I was doing it, if I felt bad I stayed at that dosage for a couple of days until I felt better and then continued on with the reduction. By the end of it I was taking only 5 crystals out at a time and then discontinued. The weaning went fairly easily for me however 2 weeks after I had a couple of nights with bad dreams that were evil in nature but thankfully they stopped. Most of the symptoms I can cope with,,but that is what it is cope. Although I was in enough discomfort on Effexor that I am happy to be on this end of it. And the times I feel good give me the strength to move forward with it. I would never consider going back on meds, although i appreciate knowing that option. Thank you Sheila for the information on Omega 3. I will read that thread. I have been taking Omega 3's, at about 3,000mg a day for the last month along with many some other supplements. I hope this is helping but of course how do you tell without stopping them?, ha,ha.

    I am glad to hear that your speech is ok now. I have read many of your posts but i would like to read your journal.
    I appreciate your feedback. Thank you.
    Joy

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