Staying on the same dose since 5 oct, at 110.3 mgs.

Have tapered very slowly over 2 years from reinstatement after brutal 3 month CT, in hospital - up to 75-450 mg (a very high dose)

Have stabilized a bit, but not so much because I thought I was in tolerance but due to Lyme started to attack my body, it was very hard to stay.

Now with treatment for Lyme, It seems I can stay on same dose for longer without "bigger problems" than before, it was impossible with this type of body tension/pressure. Felt like seizure and maximal blockade.

Have feeling what of is adrenal pains and kind of "cortisol rush" opposite the depression, and feeling more warm in the body. But also strange moments of "body fear". I am on herbal antibiotics for Lyme: Olive leaf, Grapefruit seed extract, and take Chlorella, L-glutamine, fibers etc detoxifiers. I also take enzymes to digest biofilms and make blood thinner. And olive oil and omega-3 too.

Colloidal silver drops in eyes, ears, nose and under tongue has helped much better than swallowing it.

My bowel movements have taken a direction now, and connected more with motivation. So some kind of normal feelings, ya all know what I mean. I think it is positive. Sometimes I feel my mind is very clear... then when I have a bad herx, I have brain fog.

I feel like half is withdrawal and other half is Lyme. Both make each other worse. I am a survivor and continue to be. Lyme and SSRI also disrupt "associative thinking patterns" when removing them. So I try to stay on the Effexor and hopefully stabilize when I am on treatment for Lyme (and maybe other co-infections too)

But Lyme brain "psyche" is awful. I have sensations or internal vision of biofilms/layers and cysts bursting, leaking out Lyme and other co-infections and gobbled up. Isn't it strange, I just want to tell what I experience and that is a true feeling/sensation. I have inner light experiences, demons. But I do think, over course of my treatment... slight improvements. Slowly.

Also have "shifts" to and from brain fog, notchs of dizziness rotating very slight and anxiety after I go from or to the computer. Or after reading. Its pure introspective and it "seems too much" for me, but at least I know. So I try to live the life without thinking too much, because it happens and what other choices do I have? I have been having strange suicidal thoughts, easy to suicide but that seems to pass. It always pass! Trust in this!