1 year off sertraline - still experiencing withdrawals.

[Rachel]

Hi Everyone
I’m Rachel (poorlylottie on pp – charlotte is my middle name and R187 on surviving antidepressants.org )and I have been reading this forum for a while. You all seem supportive, kind and knowledgeable so I thought why not post?! I’ve been suffering from withdrawals for 1 year now.
I’ve always been a rather negative, depressed individual and had long spells of mild depression. After going through these withdrwals now, i really had nothing to feel down about....
My drug history is as follows;
1997-2007- occasional use of recreational drugs – ecstacy, cocaine, speed, marijuana.
2000 – presecribed Prozac for mild depression– only took it for 5 weeks then stopped. No issues coming off.
2006 – prescribed sertraline(Zoloft) for mild depression. Took again for 5 weeks and came off because I just got fed up taking it/rubbish taking pills No issues stopping.
October 2011 – March 2012 – prescribed sertraline(Zoloft) again – postnatal depression. Decided I should give them a real try. Took 50mg from 15th October- 27th December 2012 (8/9 weeks) On the 27th December had stomach cramps I’d never experienced before (always previously enjoyed 100% health) so knew it had to be caused by the sertraline. The next day I decided to cut the tablets in half and started taking 25mg. Threw into awful physical wd but stabilised after 1 month. Knew that I wanted to get off the drugs as soon as I could. So by end of January 2012 I was stable on 25mg. I bought a pill cutter and at the start of March reduced from 25mg- 0mg in the period of 1 week. What possessed me to reduce from 25mg to 0 so quickly I’ll never know. I definitely wasn’t thinking straight and really regret not tapering the 10% method as I was obviously one of those who cannot tolerate large reductions.
I had mild withdrawals for the first 6 weeks then I was thrown in to hell and that’s where I’ve been since really. Having said that I have had a period from months 7-9 where I didn’t feel as terrible. My withdrawal has been mostly physical – eye pains, headaches, arthritic type pains in hands and feet, bleeding gums, GI issues, really bad back ache, rib pains, stomach aches, dizziness, shaking, tremors, twitching, pins and needles, numb limbs, skin burning, hip ache, fatigue. Have really bad health anxiety and am constantly fearing death. My close relative died around May last year of cancer and I spend most of my time thinking my latest symptom is cancer although It could be something else equally as serious.
I think when I started out on this WD journey I thought I could tough it out and it would end in a few months but I have learnt a lot over this year and know that it takes a long time for bodies to recover from this. Even though I only took the therapeutic dose for 8/9 weeks it was still long enough for changes to be made in my brain. Perhaps my system had been sensitised by previous short uses of antidepressants previously or by use of recreational drugs - I’ll never know.
So 12 months along I’ve been in a wave for 3 months. Feeling very run down with the symptoms cycling around. I have 2 young children aged 2 and 4, trying to hold down a job and run a home.
Have you heard of many people who have mainly physical problems in wd rather than mental problems? I mean I am worried about all my symptoms and think I have cancer all the time but I think that’s probably quite a rational response to having lost a close relative and experiencing a mixture of bizarre and debilitating symptoms. I’m sure if the symptoms went I’d stop think about cancer. I have no depression at all. My mood is fine I just feel ill.
I forgot to add, my experience seeing my GP’s through all this has been the same as many of your experiences. At 8 weeks off and feeling very poorly I went to see my GP. She is the most senior gp in the practice – aged 50 odd with many years experience behind her and she said it couldn’t be coming off the pills which was causing my issues. At 3 months off I went and saw a different GP and told her I was experiencing problems after stopping the sertraline and she looked in her book for side effects from sertraline and she said ‘oh no it couldn’t be from those – any withdrawals usually resolve in 2 weeks’!
Anyway i have been keeping a diary to track my symptoms but I thought it would be a good idea to keep an online record of my progress too.
Thanks for reading, Rachel

[Luc]

Hello, Rachel! Welcome to IAWP.

First off, yes, it is absolutely possible to experience more physical symptoms. We all differ. And all the symptoms you are experiencing are very common in WD, including the psychological one - anxiety.

That is great you are keeping this diary. It will help you a lot - tracking symptoms, spotting correlations between things, and helping on a more emotional level. You are doing incredible job, considering your having to take care of your family. That's a feat!

Healing from these substances sometimes may take longer than usual. It is very difficult to predict when a given person is going to recover. One thing for sure, sooner or later, your body and mind will get much much better.

Do your experience the "waves and windows" pattern? Are there any symptoms that have improved for you so far?

At 8 weeks off and feeling very poorly I went to see my GP. She is the most senior gp in the practice – aged 50 odd with many years experience behind her and she said it couldn’t be coming off the pills which was causing my issues. At 3 months off I went and saw a different GP and told her I was experiencing problems after stopping the sertraline and she looked in her book for side effects from sertraline and she said ‘oh no it couldn’t be from those – any withdrawals usually resolve in 2 weeks’!

How typical of them... I experienced the same with a neurologist. All the hellish, impossible to describe suffering and symptoms, were put down to... stress.

[Rachel]

Hi Luc, thanks for the welcome and support. It is indeed very difficult trying to look after a family, work and go through these awful withdrawals although I'm sure there are many of us who have done the same - somehow!
Regarding the windows and waves, I haven't noticed a real pattern. I had terrible wd from month 3-7 constant 24/7 cycling round symptoms, 7-9 i was virtually synptom free then months 9-12 I've had symptoms 24/7 again. Perhaps the fact i had a break a few months ago is a good sign that my brain does know what the normal state is.
My symptoms have appeared in pairs - for example i've had eye pain coupled with stomach issues, burning skin coupled with bad back ache etc. I've never had them all at once. I've also found that if i've been worried about a particular sympton then it makes the pain stronger. In january this month i'd had rib pain for a month so i thought well perhaps this isn;t wd but something is wrong - i went to the GP who listened to my lungs and said one side was taking in more oxygen than the other and sent my for an xray. The pain got a lot worse but once the xray came back clear the pain slowly died away.
Some symptoms I haven't had since the early days, chest pains and waking up in the night screaming and forgetting how to speak when I wake up- that terrified me. That seems to have eased up.
One thing i forgot to mention was how i haven't been able to touch any supplements or pain killers since i came off the sertraline. I tried fish oil but this really ramped up my withdrawal and I had an ibruprofen about 6 months ago and that sent me in a violent shakes. I tried massage but this stimulated my nervous system and caused the wd's to come on really bad.
Regarding the attitude of my GP - it's just terrible isn't it. You go to someone you're told you can trust and believe what they say and when they deny what you know is true and almost scoff at what they believe to be your ridiculous imagination, you leave feeling so terribly alone.

[Sheila]

Welcome, Rachel!

It sounds like you have a really good grasp on w/d and know the drill.

I’m sorry to hear about your loss of your relative. And, kudos to you for keeping up with life the way you are!

It is certainly possible to have mostly physical symptoms. But, I would like to point out that you do have a couple of non-physical w/d symptoms. One was that waking screaming – how awful! I’m glad that stopped.

The other is that you may have a bit of health anxiety. It sounds like you did not have health anxiety before you took the meds. Or at least not this strongly. I would suggest that this is the form that neuro-emotion is taking in you. Of course it’s understandable to be worried about all these bizarre physical symptoms you have from w/d. But, that worry may be amplified by w/d, too. Some people worry more about health, some about other dangers, but most people worry terribly about something in w/d. That’s neuro-anxiety. And it's a w/d symptom that will heal, just like the physical ones.

May I ask how you took the Omega-3 when you tried it? What dose, how long, what side effects, and when was this?

[m&m]

Hi Rachel,

If everything I have been reading about w/d and a/r is true, looks like you are more than half way there in terms of healing. Do you have a good support system in place?

Terrible that your GP's "book" said that it is impossible that the meds caused your new condition after starting them, seems they have incorrect info. Here in the US, I have actually spoken to medical staff that acknowledge these meds cause serious problems (i.e. depression, etc).

Sorry you are stressing out with the health anxiety. Some people say the best way to put that fear to rest is to simply go get checked out. What type of cancer do worry over?

Welcome

[Rachel]

Thanks so much for your replies Sheila and M&M

Sheila - I do have health anxiety which I'd never experienced prior to taking antidepressants. I haven't really read about neuro- emotion but I'll take a look on this site later for more information - very helpful.
Some time ago now I took one capsule of pure cod liver oil, high strength, each capsule providing around 200mg of omega 3. About half an hour after taking it my heart starting racing, my chest hurt, i couldn't breathe properly and i felt really dizzy.Was this a reaction from the fish oil or subconscious panic about ingesting any tablets?

M and M I worry about all types of cancer- my gums are bleeding today so I'm convinced I have gum cancer. If my stomach hurts it will be stomach cancer. Wherever I have the pain i start thinking I have cancer. I haven't really seen the doctor much during this spell of wd due to feeling let down by them but you're right - maybe i should go and get checked out just in case. My husband believes me reagrding the wd but that's it really. He's putting up with an awful lot - me mentioning my symptoms all the time must be so wearing. I so hope you're right regarding being half way through the worst of it. I really really hope so!

Thanks for your support, Rachel

[Luc]

Here's the neuro-emotions thread, Rachel. You will find it very helpful;

http://antidepressantwithdrawal.info...-Neuro-emotion

There always is a chance your reaction to the cod liver oil was your being ultra-sensitive to a given supplement, yet, what is more likely, is that it was of a psychosomatic nature. The more so as Omega-3 is one of the safest supplement there is.

[PAROX2010]

Terrible that your GP's "book" said that it is impossible that the meds caused your new condition after starting them, seems they have incorrect info. Here in the US, I have actually spoken to medical staff that acknowledge these meds cause serious problems (i.e. depression, etc).

My family doctor is aware of the problems to decrease doses of SSRIs, but, like almost everyone, the method 10 % ignores (when I explain it peered). She said that many patients who return after 3 or 4 months off, because they had joint, muscle ... However, he believes it's because the original problem returns.

My doctor said that patients with diabetes and / thyroid medications take forever, and do not protest or complain about taking them. Instead, we ("the mentally ill") regret taking lifelong medication, and we leave the medications.
That happens, he says, because we are mentally ill ... what irony. I do not know whether to laugh or mourn.

[PAROX2010]

i went to the GP who listened to my lungs and said one side was taking in more oxygen than the other and sent my for an xray. The pain got a lot worse but once the xray came back clear the pain slowly died away.
.

Welcome Rachel

I empathize with you, but you're braver than me.
Since January I am having chest pain in back (below the right shoulder blade), Not have the courage to go to the doctor, have fear of diagnosis ...

Health y a hug

[Junior]

My doctor said that patients with diabetes and / thyroid medications take forever, and do not protest or complain about taking them. Instead, we ("the mentally ill") regret taking lifelong medication, and we leave the medications.
That happens, he says, because we are mentally ill ... what irony. I do not know whether to laugh or mourn.

You know, the problem with that thinking is that most genuine mental illness is cyclical and not there all the time. Think about bipolar, schizophrenia, and major depressive disorder (recurrent episodes of depression). Such people have periods of normality so it seems their brains are operating normally during that time. So medication that continues to chemically alter brain function obviously (to me anyway :-p) isn't needed when they have no symptoms. Actually bipolar might be an exception - my sister has this (naturally occurring not the version they diagnose when people react to meds) and when she tried to come off lithium (but then, lithium is a salt and not an SSRI) spent a year in and out of hospital.,.. Anyhow taking something when we are not ill seems counterproductive to me. Interestingly, before SSRIs were invented, they used to take us depressives off tricyclics once the depression lifted. This happened to me in 1989 and I was fine for the next 8 years....