Hi Everyone
I’m Rachel (poorlylottie on pp – charlotte is my middle name and R187 on surviving antidepressants.org )and I have been reading this forum for a while. You all seem supportive, kind and knowledgeable so I thought why not post?! I’ve been suffering from withdrawals for 1 year now.
I’ve always been a rather negative, depressed individual and had long spells of mild depression. After going through these withdrwals now, i really had nothing to feel down about....
My drug history is as follows;
1997-2007- occasional use of recreational drugs – ecstacy, cocaine, speed, marijuana.
2000 – presecribed Prozac for mild depression– only took it for 5 weeks then stopped. No issues coming off.
2006 – prescribed sertraline(Zoloft) for mild depression. Took again for 5 weeks and came off because I just got fed up taking it/rubbish taking pills No issues stopping.
October 2011 – March 2012 – prescribed sertraline(Zoloft) again – postnatal depression. Decided I should give them a real try. Took 50mg from 15th October- 27th December 2012 (8/9 weeks) On the 27th December had stomach cramps I’d never experienced before (always previously enjoyed 100% health) so knew it had to be caused by the sertraline. The next day I decided to cut the tablets in half and started taking 25mg. Threw into awful physical wd but stabilised after 1 month. Knew that I wanted to get off the drugs as soon as I could. So by end of January 2012 I was stable on 25mg. I bought a pill cutter and at the start of March reduced from 25mg- 0mg in the period of 1 week. What possessed me to reduce from 25mg to 0 so quickly I’ll never know. I definitely wasn’t thinking straight and really regret not tapering the 10% method as I was obviously one of those who cannot tolerate large reductions.
I had mild withdrawals for the first 6 weeks then I was thrown in to hell and that’s where I’ve been since really. Having said that I have had a period from months 7-9 where I didn’t feel as terrible. My withdrawal has been mostly physical – eye pains, headaches, arthritic type pains in hands and feet, bleeding gums, GI issues, really bad back ache, rib pains, stomach aches, dizziness, shaking, tremors, twitching, pins and needles, numb limbs, skin burning, hip ache, fatigue. Have really bad health anxiety and am constantly fearing death. My close relative died around May last year of cancer and I spend most of my time thinking my latest symptom is cancer although It could be something else equally as serious.
I think when I started out on this WD journey I thought I could tough it out and it would end in a few months but I have learnt a lot over this year and know that it takes a long time for bodies to recover from this. Even though I only took the therapeutic dose for 8/9 weeks it was still long enough for changes to be made in my brain. Perhaps my system had been sensitised by previous short uses of antidepressants previously or by use of recreational drugs - I’ll never know.
So 12 months along I’ve been in a wave for 3 months. Feeling very run down with the symptoms cycling around. I have 2 young children aged 2 and 4, trying to hold down a job and run a home.
Have you heard of many people who have mainly physical problems in wd rather than mental problems? I mean I am worried about all my symptoms and think I have cancer all the time but I think that’s probably quite a rational response to having lost a close relative and experiencing a mixture of bizarre and debilitating symptoms. I’m sure if the symptoms went I’d stop think about cancer. I have no depression at all. My mood is fine I just feel ill.
I forgot to add, my experience seeing my GP’s through all this has been the same as many of your experiences. At 8 weeks off and feeling very poorly I went to see my GP. She is the most senior gp in the practice – aged 50 odd with many years experience behind her and she said it couldn’t be coming off the pills which was causing my issues. At 3 months off I went and saw a different GP and told her I was experiencing problems after stopping the sertraline and she looked in her book for side effects from sertraline and she said ‘oh no it couldn’t be from those – any withdrawals usually resolve in 2 weeks’!
Anyway i have been keeping a diary to track my symptoms but I thought it would be a good idea to keep an online record of my progress too.
Thanks for reading, Rachel