Nancy's Journal

[Luc]

Oh my, Nancy! You are as far from being a "quitter" as it only gets. :) You have been incredibly brave throughout all this unimaginable suffering. I say trust your intuition. *The* most important thing is now to stabilise. If you feel that the drug you take helps you feel better, just go for it. Do *not* put on yourself too much pressure. After so many years on drugs you need time to taper off of them. And you will start taking care of it *after* you stabilise. That is of an utmost priority now.

The VERY good news is that your body seems to respond well to the reinstatement. There's no doubt that, with time, step by step, you will be able to heal both from the drugs and your injury.

[Junior]

I agree with Sheila that natural supplements are better at this stage than adding more chemicals to the mix. I take a naturopathic supplement,it has to be prescribed by a practitioner, and I'm afraid it's only available here in Australia - but.. it helps to raise the levels of dopamine in my brain. Dopamine is needed for sleep - as well as melatonin - and it might be worth looking around to find something similar. (I"m lucky, I have a naturopath who understands w/d.) Also Trazadone is an antidepressant and if you start taking it regularly, it will be another one you will need to wean off later. Just some thoughts from someone whose main w/d problem is sleep- or the lack thereof. I sometimes take valerian forte, which is a stronger version, and it helps calm the body / nerves - and can help with the sleep too, if the problem is anxiety.

But whatever you decide, it needs to be something you feel comfortable with. It's your life, your body, and you need to do whatever you need to do to make things better for yourself.

[stan]

30 years meds is enormous in a life; we cannot stop them too fast because of chemical brain changes; the "reverse" will take time

mi advices would be:

do not change too often, brain likes regularity;
stay on one long time;
do not often updose, downdose;
when take again for the first time, follow a 1 or two weeks 5 mg, then 10 mg, then 15 mg, etc; no need to go to 40 or 60(it will be more harder to taper)
keep in mind that mood stabilizer, antipsychotics, antidepressants and anxiolytics are neuro poisons, so less you take , more it will be better for you;

reinstating, i have do it 2/3 times at the end to success the taper
when we begin antidepressant, it is recognyzed that we can become suicidal the first weeks(same when stopping); normally it will not last long;
you can taper again more slowly in the future

[nancys]

Yes, i feel so foolish for blindly following the doctors for 30 years. I dont even believe in medication but i believed in my doctors so i trusted them. dumb dumb dumb.
they of course told me drugs not addictive and not harmful. now i keep being told how toxic they are and people become dependent. dumb dumb dumb. Never felt anything from first drug they gave me and then they just kept concocting and i just went along with it. i have no idea if they ever helped me. All i know is that getting off is painful.
Its an awful thing to look at what i have done for 30 years/what they did to me. Hate thinking about it.
I am really struggling with the sleep issue because the drugs are kicking in and the sleep is worse.
I just watched dr. Oz and a sleep expert says melatonin should only be used to make body think it is night so if shift worker or going on vacation etc. not for stress and anxiety. he says no more than 1 mg and no more than 2 weeks.
So there goes my melatonin idea.
i tried calms forte. didn't work
i will try valerian forte.
Tonight i am going to do trazadone again though because i have to sleep. i felt so much better the next day after i took the trazadone. i have been 9 weeks off seroquel that helped me sleep. i think lack of sleep is part of mental health problem-sure noticed after took trazadone.
i will try another sleep aid tomorrow night but trazadone tonite to get a little sleep.
barely slept last night and hardly able to do much today as result.
tomorrow night i will try one of your other suggestions.
my sleep problem is big and even worse on antidepressants so part of me is pretty sure none of this overthe counter natural stuff will work but i don't know that for sure it is just my best guess.
maybe i can find valerian forte tomorrow somewhere
anyone ever try kavinace for sleep.

[Sheila]

No, I don't know anything about Kavinace.

Dr. Oz is just one opinion. Some people have taken melatonin nightly for years in psych med w/d. Other, like me, take it only as needed. Why not use it for two weeks? Sometimes, you just need to break the cycle of insomnia, not find something you need to take every night for a long time.

nancys -- There are a lot of human lives that involve a long time in an exile of some sort -- war, false imprisonment, chronic illness, etc. You are not dumb. You did the best you could at the time, like all of us. And so, so much more is known about the problems with psych meds now than was known 30 years ago. I was born in 1962, and I am constantly grateful that it's no longer the 60s, 70s, or 80s. We know so much more now. So many things have improved. You will feel better and you will be able to do something unique and important with the hardship you've been through.

[nancys]

took trazadone again. slept way better than long long time. feel more able to be in my own skin(anxiety depression) and more able to accomplish something. My suffering is astromomical so this is fabulous. However feel like quitter if keep taking this. and screwing up system with side effects and withdrawal. want to try alternative stuff but very hard to even get to store. Based on past expereince i fear it wont work anyway. but i am different now in some ways but also worse in a lot of ways so could need more powerful help. anyway it is a mess.
so valerian, melatonin, kava kava, magnesium, etc. its just so confusing cause so many products on market and so many different recommendations from different books people doctors etc. plus side effects and lentght of use issues. anyway. what a mess.
All i know is apparently sleep makes me feel way better. (2 different nights i tried the trazadone thurs and sat). could be other effects of trazadone also. not sure if those would kick in that fast.
Dont want to screw body up with drugs but love how much better feel. i could try the alternative stuff tonight or tomorrow and see how it goes. but some take weeks to kick in. looks like valerian and kava kava not recommended for long term use. I really wish i knew all the research. looks like some arent good to take with depression either. so Confusing.
Feel like quitter for doing trazadone but sufferning so immense i need relief bad.
Thanks for all of you help

[Luc]

Nancy, not only you are NOT a quitter, but you have done what should be done after having taken drugs for so long and going cold turkey - you are reinstating the drugs in order to stabilise, and then, very very slowly, taper off of them. That's the way to go. As for alternative ways of alleviating the symptoms (kava kava, Valerian, and others), some may find them beneficial, some get worse after even a small dose. It all depends. I think that the most important thing is now to stablise, and you will take it from there.

[nancys]

thank you luc. Maybe it is right that this is the right thing and not being quitter. A couple others have told me. Helps to hear u say that. This whole alternative thing is so confusing

[Sheila]

The reason there are so many alternative sleep aids is that nothing works for everyone. You will have to experiment -- both with substance and with dosage -- to see what works for you. And that's only if you *want* to explore this.

Another thing to consider is that many people (but not all) habituate to any sleep aid they take. So, you might mix it up -- have four things that work for you and alternate them. Also, in w/d, you may find that something doesn't work at some point, and later it works. Or vice versa.

But, again, I'm only putting this information out there because you're interested in it. I totally support your using Trazadone to take care of yourself and stay in a sane, safe, tolerable place. You are doing a tremendous job with this situation.

[Junior]

I agree with Luc. The most important thing for you right now is to regain stability and quality of life. You can sort out a tapering schedule later. If you feel that Trazadone gives you the relief you need, then take it. Maybe Celexa and Trazadone will be the 'right' way to go for now. It's all about finding a balance in your brain and has nothing to do with being a quitter. Right now, you need to do whatever you have to - to find peace - and we are all here to support you.