They define it like this, Nancy (tolerance = tolerance withdrawal);
Tolerance is the process by which the body continually adapts to the substance and requires increasingly larger amounts to achieve the original effects. Withdrawal refers to physical and psychological symptoms experienced when reducing or discontinuing a substance that the body has become dependent on. (Wikipedia)
Yes, it's been only 12 days. There will be more improvement.
Keep walking. Just keep walking.
You're doing great, nancys! Remember what Luc said -- your real childhood traumas get magnified by w/d, and by getting so very magnified, they can also get distorted. So, you will feel very differently even about real things that happened once you stabilize more.
So, try as best you can not to focus on the memories or feelings. Distract yourself, entertain yourself, study something interesting, meditate, go to meetings, walk. Now is not the time to look at your old issues. There will be a right time later.
Meds free since June 2005.
"An initiation into shamanic healing means a devaluation of all values, an overturning of the profane world, a peeling away of inveterate handed-down notions of the world, liberation from everything preconceived. For that reason, shamanism is closely connected with suffering. One must suffer the disintegration of one's own system of thought in order to perceive a new world in the higher space."
-- Holger Kalweit
thank you for your advice. unfortunately not under psychologist care at moment so not always sure best course of action. so very scared about how to do things.
i am feeling better but the childhood crap is torture. so hopefully will get better as you say. it has gotten better since 13 days on drugs so you are probably right.
Dr Oz had show last week on dangers of antidepressants. great... just learned they can cause depression later in life and other bad stuff. i cant believe at age 22 i let a psychotherapist who i trusted a lot because she had produced changes in me talked me into taking antidepressants. she brought up childhood stuff in first visit that made me instantly severely suicidal and nonfunctional and then went on disability. that is when she said "antidpressants could help me do therapy cause if so depressed dont benefit from therapy" anyway that was in 1988 and they put me on prozac and i did not feel anything. then they just kept adding and changing and never once did i "know that a drug helped me". what a mess. of course they did not tell me about the bad side of taking drugs. I sure wish i had money i would go to the amenclinic so they could accurately diagnose me and tell me what treatment to do. What has happened is the therapist brought all that to the surface but she ignored treating part of it that was at the surface and then the next therpist ignored it also. so i have been suffering immensely for years with this pain that is at the surface and that they have not had me work on. I found a new therapist right before i lost my health insurance that went straight for these issues (emdr also)and i felt relief and profound psychological growth that is how i know the others ignored it for sure. i was always expressing everything but they chose to not deal with it. i am so angry. the years of suffering and the failure in all areas of life. and now completely broke as a result. and now brain injury so cant work and cant get the therapy that i paid these guys for every week for 28 years. horrible horrible situation. mostly the failure causes me the most distress and then the suffering that i endured cause they didnt deal with it and then lack of enjoyment and fun and things i would have wanted to do. So not only have i been victimized by psychiatrists i have also been victimized by psychologists. it is horrible. a travesty. very hard to get over all of the loss and sufferning that could have been avoided if they provided me the right treatment. just such a mess. and now i am suffering cause went broke cause never right treatment. severe depression since 28 years ago and they just ignored parts of what was needed to treat me. but this depression now is severe severe severe. anyway just so angry and shocked at the lack of treatment. and i was seeing people who were suppose to be very competent. psychiatrist one of best in town. goes to show that mental health professionals and all health professionals cant be trusted. i have gotten a huge lesson in that. it took me 14 doctors to be diagnosed with a brain injury. and only cause i forced an mri and even the mri reader said it was negative but the neurologist who is tops in his field sees it on mri. i do not trust medical professionals at all anymore and yet i need them. horrible. whatever. cant wait for celexa to kick in more.
Hello Nancys:
An aunt of my husband has a simliar story.
The aunt of my husband is currently 63 years. Taking various antidepressants and alprazolam (Xanax) since 1989, prescription after the death of his mother.
In November 2011 a new doctor scolded her for taking alprazolam, said it was addictive, blah blah blah .. For this reason, he decided to leave alprazolam (CT), benzo WD a bad step ... After 2 or 3 months, she returned to the doctor's office, she said that she had left the alprazolam, the doctor returns to scolded, the doctor tells you that you can not leave the medication CT, that the reduction should be gradual, blah blah blah ... She always scrupulously followed the instructions given by the doctors.
Seroxat (paroxetine) stopped working more. Prescribed sertraline, after another ... No medication was used .....
You now have a new psychiatrist who says he's going to help, but is standardized plans ... I do not know
Anyway, one or two months ago, she sensed that something was wrong and called the neurologist who did a CAT scan and found in brain plaques in the brain.
Ah! and neurologist recommended SSRI and benzo leave!.
I'm upset, and I blame that to antidepressants taken so long. I recommended to my husband's aunt take omega 3 because I think it can help slow the disease and recovered.
Nancys, you'll gradually stabilize. You'll improve with time, your mood will improve, you will certainly improve
A big hug
Mar/2009 (diacepam+nortriptilina).Aprl-2010 (sulpiride+diacepam). May-2010:Tranxene 20 mg+SEROXAT 20mg
TAPER BENZO:Apr-2011 20-10mg.; Sep-Nov -2011 taper 10 a 0mg. BENZO FREE 06/11/2011
TAPER SEROXAT: jul-ago-11: de 20 a 10 mg; Dic-11/jan-10-5mg;Apr-sep-12 5-0mg . SEROXAT FREE: 15/09/2012
Internal tremor, brain fog, memory, lack of concentration, anxiety. Problem original: Stress
Hi NancySOriginally Posted by nancys
I don't know if this will help but I thought I would point it out anyway.
Your post above has a very different tone to your earlier posts. There is a lot of anger and frustration there, which is totally understandable given everything you've described. I can only imagine how much more there is, especially in terms of your 'childhood' issues.
Your earlier posts had a much more "help me, I can't cope" tone to them.
In my experience, moving from the 'HELP' standpoint to one of anger and frustration means that the healing process has begun. I know life is incredibly difficult for you right now but it is definitely a positive shift and shows that the Celexa IS helping. Remember that anti-depressants are not meant to make you feel happy all the time. They are meant to help your brain heal from the illness of depression. Once the illness lifts, it is then possible to address life issues.
Does that make sense? (I've only had 4.5 hours sleep!)
Aropax (Paxil). Currently at 13mg and holding.
Added Endep (amitrypline) 12.5 for sleep - 11 July 2013
"There are things that are known and things that are unknown; in between are doors." - Anonymous
So what harm has 30 years of antidepressants and about 12-15 year of seroquel done to my brain. I hated seeing on dr. oz that it can cause depression in long run.
i am so angry i trusted these idiots. my doctors wrote THe Consumers Guide to Psychiatric Drugs. I trusted these idiots. Now there is no evidence of brain deficiencies. I never believed in drugs. these idiots told me this crap. i am so dumb. i hate self for listening to them. plus i believe seroquel ruined my life. plus i have lived with numerous bad side effects over the years. so dumb so angry.
i fear harm drugs did to me and what negative effects have now or in older age. so angry so angry. why did i listen to these idiots especially when dont believe in drugs. dumb.
Nancy, the *most* important thing is you know what is going on. Your body is able to heal from it, step by step. All of us here trusted doctors at some point, and it took for each of us lots of time to learn the truth. Do *not* blame yourself for anything.
Keep walking. Just keep walking.
nancys – Just so you know, people in w/d tend to have very strong emotions and they tend to get fixated on one or two themes. Some people tend towards fear and they have one or two bugaboos that they get obsessed with. (That’s me.) Others tend towards anger, and they can get obsessed with past wrongs.
So, although you have every reason to be angry about many things, it’s worth considering that *some* of your feelings may be an artifact of being in w/d. If you were not in w/d, it would be easier for you to have a range of feelings, and to have breaks from being angry.
So, honor your anger, yes, but also try to allow some space for other perspectives and put your energy into your healing.
All your doctors and you were trying to give you relief. You all made mistakes. But, probably some real healing happened along the way, too. Now, you are going to heal more, and you are going to turn this hard experience into something valuable for you and for others.
Nobody gets through life without making mistakes or suffering the effects of other people’s mistakes. You are way ahead of the game in that you have had a huge awakening, as Luc points out. Most people still haven’t seen the truth that you have seen. Most people! You are way ahead.
Meds free since June 2005.
"An initiation into shamanic healing means a devaluation of all values, an overturning of the profane world, a peeling away of inveterate handed-down notions of the world, liberation from everything preconceived. For that reason, shamanism is closely connected with suffering. One must suffer the disintegration of one's own system of thought in order to perceive a new world in the higher space."
-- Holger Kalweit
I still feel dumb cause I did it 28 years. You guys wised up way sooner. I had tried to go off by lowering here and there and would feel bad 2 or 4 or 6 weeks later and tell self I guess the doctors are rigt I do have brain imbalance. Of course they never said maybe it was withdrawal or maybe it was cause would lower antidepressant but not the sleep aid. I never lowered with telling dr but would tell them after I did it. Anyway. Dumb. Just trusted doctors cause they were best in town. When I would question them they always had a good answer defending thier way. Whatever. Feel like blind fool. Definitely ruined my Own life blindly following them. Doctors are idiots.
I did the same thing with therapists. I now known last two were ignoring my underlying issues from infancy toddler years. But I blindly trusted them. I did not evaluate that they were not helping me. I trusted that they were helping me. Anyway. They were wrong. I now know doctors are wrong all the time and harm us. Ridiculous. My mental health was in their hands. I did everything they said. I devoted selfto therapy only to know they did it wrong. Anyway all the years of suffering cause of these idiot doctors and now I am broke too as a result of depression for years and years. How could these doctors just keep me in this mental state and not do more to help me. Ridiculous And I was willing to go Through amything and do anything and committed to mental health. And the result is extremely poor outcomes for years and now. Anyway I am just so angry and then beat self up for not watching out for self. But I thought they were watchin out for me. That is what psychiatrists and psychologists Are for I thought. They know better than us I thought. Our thinking messed us up so we go to them. And then they are wrong. Ridiculous.
Just so u know ......I wrote this post above before I read sheilas response to prior post ( accidentally missed hers)
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