Lyme internal vision of the infection

[Mixter]

I posted this in my journal too, I want some input on this frightening Lyme visions.

I have sensations or internal vision of biofilms/layers and cysts bursting, leaking out Lyme and other co-infections and gobbled up.

It is moving and rotating, from a side there they live. Very frightening. But try to keep myself sane.

It's like seeing "lights" inside my brain of these shapes. Probably glutamate reactions from toxins and kundalini, in one?

Or is my soul kinda connected with them? So I am the Lyme and soul in one. Maybe?

And that's not until now, that I now recall I had these similiar experiences in my childhood.

I just want to tell what I experience and that is a true feeling/sensation.

I have inner light experiences, demons etc.

Due to taking enzymes, which break up the biofilms/layers it seems worse now.

I think it can explain my "unaware of why" worm phobias and earth/ground fear due to worms, and they are a bit similiar in shape to spirochetes.

[Sheila]

Possibly, these visions are the product of physical, psychological, *and* spiritual factors. Remember, Kundalini, itself, is a physical, psychological, and spiritual phenomenon. It operates on all these levels at the same time.

But, in a way, it doesn't matter what the cause of the visions are because the approach to helping yourself with them would be the same. First, you make sure you are taking good care of yourself physically, which you are already doing.

Then, you cultivate a balance in your relationship to them -- you embrace them to some extent, and you create healthier substitutes. Both.

You have had a lot of success in the past with facing scary visions and breathing and relaxing into them. It takes some effort, but you have reported feeling triumphant, excited, more confident and secure when you do something along these lines.

What do you think about trying a comic approach? You could put funny antlers or Groucho Marx eyeglasses on them? You don't have to be serious all the time.

Then, the last suggestion is to redirect your attention some of the time to images that feel more healing and corrective. If you are having any plain white light internally, you could try focusing on that, and letting it fill your field. That's very healing.

Let us know what works best for you, as you experiment!

[Mixter]

Possibly, these visions are the product of physical, psychological, *and* spiritual factors. Remember, Kundalini, itself, is a physical, psychological, and spiritual phenomenon. It operates on all these levels at the same time.

But, in a way, it doesn't matter what the cause of the visions are because the approach to helping yourself with them would be the same. First, you make sure you are taking good care of yourself physically, which you are already doing.

Then, you cultivate a balance in your relationship to them -- you embrace them to some extent, and you create healthier substitutes. Both.

You have had a lot of success in the past with facing scary visions and breathing and relaxing into them. It takes some effort, but you have reported feeling triumphant, excited, more confident and secure when you do something along these lines.

What do you think about trying a comic approach? You could put funny antlers or Groucho Marx eyeglasses on them? You don't have to be serious all the time.

Then, the last suggestion is to redirect your attention some of the time to images that feel more healing and corrective. If you are having any plain white light internally, you could try focusing on that, and letting it fill your field. That's very healing.

Let us know what works best for you, as you experiment!

Hey Sheila!

I feel at home here, lot of helpful people and good discussions!

You are on point!
Good ideas!

I just tried to focus into the light and think positive, I think it helped!
Later, one thing I felt was a kind of sense being home, when I focused on it.
Before I associated the light with bad experiences, that didn't need to be the case.

Can you tell me how and why the light is helpful in terms of healing?

And then I noticed that it seemed to fade in intensity, as I felt kinda better.
After, I got some mild headaches. I have experienced this before. Kinda because of motivation or something?

Lol, yes, I have been too serious in my whole life.

My mind has been torn apart each day during the time I had Lyme, so I forgot things, forgot what I did before, lots of repetive behaviour, doing nothing too long, emotions weakened or too strong, feeling sad over nothing, for example I could feel sad for seeing a thing without reason, crying attacks (espically in mornings), feeling hurried, agitated sometimes, scared of doing things, agoraphobia, gradual memory loss, did sometimes not answer questions or understand, nightmares, head buzzing and ringing, rage, excessive sleeping, learning trouble etc.

So with this in mind, I think if I could try to develop from this as I feel like "I missed lots of life" and with the bullying, just because I wasn't the person I wanted to be.

I think this have caused problems, for example with funny things not feeling funny, OR normal, boring things seems too funny. Sudden laugh attacks without reason.

Also appreciation of life was affected, kinda I felt "anti-things" and depressed of it, maybe.

But in essence, now, I felt like I haven't missed because I have gone a difficult path. Of suffering and learning.
It is told, or read that Lyme people is special because they "are on something special" and often intelligent, brave people.

I think the reason is they keep trying and trying just doing things right because of the hidden ongoing damage, evolve special brain circuits?

I could as well think, it's a gift. And have a comic approach to them. I am trying to come on something.

[Sheila]

That's great that you're feeling welcome, Mix! Isn't it nice to be able to talk about Kundalini without having to worry about being deleted or banned or something?!

Wow, I am so glad we are talking about the internal light and making it possible for you to see it as a good thing instead of a bad thing!

Seeing light, most often white, either internally or externally, is one of the classic symptoms of a Kundalini awakening. It's also a very common feature of many different kinds of *positive* spiritual and psychic experiences.

It's very cool that, despite having some fear of it, you spontaneously felt a sense of being home when you focused on it, because a lot of people have experienced the Light when they feel they are getting closer to their own true essence, their higher self, God, the cosmic intelligence, the Source of everything, etc. So, the Light is very much associated with the sense of being home!

We are energy-based beings, and white light has the full spectrum of electromagnetism we can see. So, theoretically, white light has all the different frequencies your body might be needing right now to help it heal. Also, white light is associated with "Christ consciousness," which is a very mature, loving, safe archetype. So, you might be tapping into that state of consciousness.

Also, Kundalini is a natural process that takes care of itself. Therefore, there is no need to be scared of any phenomenon that arises during the process. It's all part of your healing and development. Although, sometimes we do want to do things that are more grounding to help us get through the process.

But, anyway, here you can see several different ways that the white light might be healing. I will be very interested to hear what else you observe as you experiment with embracing or meditating on the light.

It also sounds like you're becoming able to look at the hardships in your life as serving a purpose of helping you learn and grow. I think this is an excellent way of looking at things. And, I also agree that some of these hardships and the healing from them cause neurological changes that cause you to evolve in a special way. I'm very interested in the connection between neurological damage and psychic opening.

[Mixter]

Just a quick post: Interesting have been noticing a blue light too, when I think I felt some hope return.

I will post a longer reply later, because it's too late now.

And yes, right on! :)

[Barbara]

Mixter,

So glad to hear you are feeling at home on the website. I'm looking forward to hearing more about the blue light.

[Mixter]

Seems there is lot of energy disturbances.

Due to blockades, withdrawal etc.
Parts light up but not WHOLE parts, for example the body.

And sometimes I sense other spirits near my "kundalini body".
They are like round wobbly circles, but can be other shapes.

What do you all think I need to do?

Also sometimes, there were things with electromagnetic waves etc.
Sensations of seeing them like pulses. I don't know.

I eat lots of antioxidants, and do grounding (whatever you think helps) so I think it is helping!

The dose holding is doing things, it feels like a passage now.
7 weeks now. It is not so bad like before without treatment for Lyme, so blockades were too hard to endure.

Replying more later.

[Sheila]

Ha! The blue light is a very good sign! You're very lucky!

The blue light is associated with enlightened consciousness and also with psychic phenomena. In English, we have an idiomatic expression -- "It came to me out of the blue." It's very interesting that the language has this expression. I don't know what the etymology of it is. Maybe it was partly about referring to the blue sky. But, in fact, people often report seeing blue light when having psychic experiences.

Also, you may remember Leo once talking about the blue pearl. People who have developed themselves sometimes go through a period of seeing a small, blue sphere in front of them, either with eyes closed or eyes opened.

You're having a lot of interesting experiences, Mix. I look forward to hearing more about them. In general, I think the goal is to be gentle and compassionate with yourself. Don't strain. Don't chase after cool experiences. Take what comes, and breathe into it. Be mildly curious. Maybe ask for help from your own unconscious, higher self, helpers.

Antioxidants and grounding are excellent ways of helping yourself with this process.

If you get anxious, try talking to yourself -- either in your head or out loud -- and say soothing, reassuring things. I have always talked to myself out loud, but in early w/d I talked non-stop! I really needed to in order to get through my anxiety.

I have lots of other ideas, but that's enough for today!

[Mixter]

Whoa! Things happen so fast sometimes, It seems a lot is both withdrawal/reinstatement process stabilization and Lyme in one.

Yes, the Blue light, and I have seen the blue pearl in my vision. It was combined with a highly enthuastic feeling and feeling on top of life.

Very nice to see. Maybe I will see it very soon! It was a blue combined glowing, glittering,
Octahedron with straight pointing up and down axis, which it spins on, and a bit enlarged.

Just like this form:

/\
\/

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Octahedron

It isn't bullshit talking. I had this when I was a child. Christmas times was one of them that could cause this.

I feel kinda much more normal now, this is a good sign (or wave), it encourages me!

It's why I cannot reply on everything, because it is already happening things after, it adds up!

And already, you have offered me very good guidance. It's a gift for us. It *effects*.

I am learning. But you know, the SSRIs *will* cause a cover up of kundalini processes.

It seems to go backward to a resting state. "coiled", to say. Comments?

I know it will open again a day, but I will be more prepared for it step by step tapering process.
I will do this when my Lyme is cured, and when my CNS is "stronger", rested and prepared.
Which will be an very hard but a rite learning passage.

Wondering if I also had TBE, but feels unlikely as I didnt have this immediately after bite, (No life-threating meningitis),
but could have caused an internal sensitation of CNS too, explaining my Kundalini opening.
As TBE in childs often seem to resolve on it's own, compared to elder people.
Because I think cells/receptors maybe grow faster in childs than elder people.

Yes, enough for today! :)

[Sheila]

OMG, Mix! You are so lucky to be seeing a blue octahedron! What fun!

You might want to listen to some Nassim Haramein Youtubes. There's a thread here in Spirit & Psi on him. He says the fundamental structure of the vacuum is tetrahedrons (I forget how many, but two tetrahedrons = 1 octahedron) in a sphere. When space divides along these fundamental lines, it creates the matter and energy we experience. Also, this pattern can be seen in a lot of ancient art and architecture. One example is the "seed of life" image.

So, it is very cool that you are spontaneously seeing an octahedron.

Yes, Kundalini energy comes and goes. As you say, it will retreat and coil at the base of the spine at times. And, yes, you're right, SSRIs probably interfere with the K. process, but you still have to taper slowly. It's the only way to go. There's no rush. Your K. process will unfold exactly the way it is supposed to.