And that is a great sign!Originally Posted by Iggy131313
And that is a great sign!
Keep walking. Just keep walking.
I know it's scary but you really need to change thoughts like that to "it's going to be very hard". You CAN do this. You WILL do this. You need to do this for you son. And we are here to help you through.
FWIW - just two days ago I contemplated slitting my wrists. Not from w/d directly - but because of the loss of a friendship that meant everything to me. Even I was surprised at the depth of my hurt. But I lay on my bed and thought about it. While I was doing that I could hear my son upstairs and I knew I couldn't do it. He needs me. I jumped onto fb, talked to some good people,and I feel much better now.
Keep reaching out and doing what you have to do. I just want to keep encouraging you to change those catastrophic thoughts to ones that are not so catastrophic. It will help you to feel more in control.
Aropax (Paxil). Currently at 13mg and holding.
Added Endep (amitrypline) 12.5 for sleep - 11 July 2013
"There are things that are known and things that are unknown; in between are doors." - Anonymous
3 years 9 months
deteriorations since withdrawal:
muscles in spine, ribcage, chest, bowels, heart, eyes focus
hip joints
skin itching or fire in shoulders, head, arms
sleep cycle, nocturia, prostate, dry mouth eyes night,
standing equilibrium
one ear death tinnitus
akathisia, derealization, sometime malaise, hyper excitability light/dark, anxiety, memory, cognition
i walk slowly as 90 years, stopping regularly, exhausted, exercize not possible
all this has up and down, but the physicals stay stronger
i am better than 1 year ago, but improvements are so slow,
i am trying to live with this because time flies
12 years paxil(9 years only 10 mg) - cold turkey(1,5 month) and switch celexa tapered 1 year 20 mg
62 years old - for GAD - 4 years 3 months meds free [since april 2009]
vegetables soup - orange (vit C) - curcuma - some meat or fish
Stan, you have come a long way already, and you know that despite this slowness of the entire process, you have improved quite a lot. Just a little bit more and doing some basic physical exercises will become possible. From then on there's every reason to believe you'll start healing a bit faster. How long do you sleep at night now?
Keep walking. Just keep walking.
i sleep in the morning, awake each hour or less for nocturia and dry mouth (drinking) and eyes; sitting sleep=2 or 3 hours, + lying in bed= 2 or 3 hours, each awake 10 minutes; so globally(sitting + lying) i sleep (with nightmares) between 4 to 6 hours; year ago it was less
12 years paxil(9 years only 10 mg) - cold turkey(1,5 month) and switch celexa tapered 1 year 20 mg
62 years old - for GAD - 4 years 3 months meds free [since april 2009]
vegetables soup - orange (vit C) - curcuma - some meat or fish
You are creeping forward, Stan. It is so slow, but I am so glad you can genuinely see the progress. You are doing an incredible job of managing the illness, taking care of yourself, and solving the problems as much as you possibly can. I salute you!
Meds free since June 2005.
"An initiation into shamanic healing means a devaluation of all values, an overturning of the profane world, a peeling away of inveterate handed-down notions of the world, liberation from everything preconceived. For that reason, shamanism is closely connected with suffering. One must suffer the disintegration of one's own system of thought in order to perceive a new world in the higher space."
-- Holger Kalweit
my slow reconstruction of the paxil damages
the center of my outdoor problems seem to be the ability to be quiet
Three days ago I was walking outside better, much quieter, less stress, and much less of chest pain
Unfortunately, today I am back on and outside, the shakes and chest pains
central element in me that seems to be panic for no reason, and for three days had significantly decreased, but today it is back
so i feel cycles of good and quiet , and panik an bad
12 years paxil(9 years only 10 mg) - cold turkey(1,5 month) and switch celexa tapered 1 year 20 mg
62 years old - for GAD - 4 years 3 months meds free [since april 2009]
vegetables soup - orange (vit C) - curcuma - some meat or fish
Stan, I can see and feel that the improvement is happening for you. Stay the course, just stay the course. The spring will bring even more healing. You're doing incredible job, my friend. Do you have any snow there now?
Keep walking. Just keep walking.
Waves are good. It means you are healing. Hang in there Stan. You will get through this. We may not know when but it will happen.
Aropax (Paxil). Currently at 13mg and holding.
Added Endep (amitrypline) 12.5 for sleep - 11 July 2013
"There are things that are known and things that are unknown; in between are doors." - Anonymous
I, too, have noticed that, on good days, it suddenly feels a lot more quiet and spacious inside me. As if you just turned off a TV football game.
Meds free since June 2005.
"An initiation into shamanic healing means a devaluation of all values, an overturning of the profane world, a peeling away of inveterate handed-down notions of the world, liberation from everything preconceived. For that reason, shamanism is closely connected with suffering. One must suffer the disintegration of one's own system of thought in order to perceive a new world in the higher space."
-- Holger Kalweit
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