Oh, Stan, I'm so sorry you're suffering like this. But it's just an awful wave. This is typical of w/d. This wave will end.
Some days, it feels particularly Sisyphean -- we all are making such a very good effort, trying to maintain our lives, do our chores, do things to heal ourselves -- and we don't get many rewards. It's depressing, frustrating, anxiety-provoking.
But, it *will* end, and we will take all this wisdom and strength and do good things with them. And, you'll be able to feel enjoyment and happiness again.